This is a story of my life and the battle i had to go through to quit. I do hope this will help others out there in some way.
It all started when i was 19, i was in my hometown of Vietnam on holidays. We were having fun for a couple of weeks until the last week of our holiday. My friends and brother were always upstairs for hours, they were smoking heroin.I knew what they were doing and i was curious to try it. So stupidly i asked to try and they let me. It was a good feeling, i felt relaxed and wanted to go out n enjoy myself. From then on we’d score every morning for the last week of our holiday (since it was so cheap over there) and go out. I’m sure i wasnt hooked, yet.
it was until i went back to Australia and i finished up for the season on the plantation (met my, now fiance along the way) and moved back to Melbourne. With the money we got paid from work i bought a car and what was left we decided to score heroin (I nicknamed it Bob for some reason). So my brother and i, along with my best mates at the time, started smoking everyday since there was nothin else to do, we were young and clueless. After a few weeks of constant smoking we realised we were hooked, and to make it worse my gf at the time was pregnant to my first child. I was happy but i my brain was too focused on smoking heroin and hanging out with my mates, everday.
This went on for almost a year, my gf gave birth to my daughter and i was still hooked on heroin pretty bad. My gf didnt know how bad i was hooked on it so she assumed i was fine, so she decided after a couple of months to get pregnant again so my daughter can have a sister or brother to play with. So i just went along not thinking about the future or how my kids will grow knowing they’re dads a junkie.
In this time my gf was pregnant to my second child, i was never home. Since i moved houses i was no longer near my mates or my brother. But it didnt matter cos the drug has torn our relationship apart. We would get paranoid that this person is scoring for themselves or pulling shifties by taking some out and leaving it for themselves later and all that. It was a shit feeling inside, but we didnt care, we just wanted to get more n more heroin.
One if the things i hate most of heroin is how low you’d go to get it, and how it blocks ur conscience. All i remember was, i would get my things and sell them for heroin, or i’d steal money from my gf when she receives government funding, of which the money is for my kid/s. i would leave every morning to my dealers house n do drops for him all day, so he can pay me in heroin. I was only home to sleep. One of the worst memories i had was, i was at an apartment complex smoking heroin with this girl while my pregnant gf was in the car with my crying daughter. Obviously i didnt give a shit at the time, but looking back now, the shit i’ve put them through is unforgiveable.
After that incident and months of neglect my gf, who gave birth to my second child, had left me to go back to western Australia for good. And if i wanted to see them i’d have to go over there. After 6 months of being alone away from my family, i was coming down from an Ice binge i broke down in tears and asked my sister to book me a flight to go see my family. I was on the next flight to see them. I was still heroin when i saw my kids again and the most heartbreaking thing was they dont remember who i was. It was a really shit feeling. I had to do quit.
So I booked myself to see a doctor to put me on a Suboxone program to help me quit. I had a job at the time but had no money or car. For me to get to a chemist to take my meds then go to work would be very hard. I had get up at six in the morning, catch 2 buses to the chemist, wait outside for 20 mins till they opened, take my meds then catch another bus and train to work, everyday. And i started work at 10am. It was getting to me cos i was dependant on the Suboxone like i was with the heroin, which i really hate, cos u jave the same withdrawal effects. At this stage i’ve had enough, i gathered any will power i had, took two weeks off work, without pay, stayed home and quit everything cold turkey. And my god, it was the most horrific two weeks of torture i’ve ever endured. The shakes, the sweats, the aches were unbearable. But by my side was my strong gf who stuck by me, she cooked food that was very easy to eat like congee and soups.
At the end of the second week, i was feeling better, i got my energy back, i was eating properly. i just kept thinking in my head that i do not want to go through that ever again. But most of all my biggest motivation was my kids, i didnt want to be a junkie who’s high around them all the time. And also i didnt want to be a slave to heroin, i was thought i was taking the drug, but the drug had taken me instead. Now i have 3 beautiful girls, a lovely wife and a great life. I can honestly say, i do regret taking heroin but then again i dont because it made more stronger and wiser, it made me who i am today. My brother, has also quit, but unfortunately my former best friends r still on it after 6 years. And they all looked down on me, saying i was the worst junkie of all. The best feeling of quitting is showing people that doubted you in the past, and also gaining respect from others for quitting such an evil drug. I hope whoever is reading this and ur on any drug, please quit because you can, why waste ur life? Its all in ur head, im positive you’ll become a stronger person aftewards.
I’m sorry that was a bit long, i tried to slim it down as much as possible. Hope this helps.
goodnight
J
