sinnce i already explained im a bit weird. and this is going to be another ramble but if you want the answer its somewhere in the words im about to type..
when i was younger i went on this website to play a game and when i signed up i was just 11 (i think it was runescape or something if your familiar with it…?) and i typed my age at my true age. After doing this the site automatically referred me to a different web page and i was unable to sign up. so i thought i would just be able to reload the page and i would be able to lie. however when i reloaded the page it wouldn’t work, it had permenantly banned me from the page. and now even writing this i feel wounded and panicked, almost short of breathe!
i’m entirely unemotional and indifferent and unconnected to the world but there are little things like this that i freak out about, i swear im crazy! i want to be crazy so bad, but im not lifes hard and yeah so now whenever i go to a website page its like some petit simmer of ocd that 4 or 5 years later i still have to enter 1990 cause thats the number i entered then. which i guess means i was only 13? cause i must’ve said i was 18? or perhaps i said i was 16 cause it was a game but whatever i put in 1990 and now whereever i go on the internet i put in 1990.
