Party Vibe

Cath,a lot of bank charges are now deemed illegal (extortionate rates ect ect) If its really pissing you off you can claim back any charges you have paid within the last 6 years:),the banks hate this though and if it turns out they owe you loads they may invite you to join another branch once they have paid up,just google for “claim back bank charges” or similar;)

i got charged forty quid in halifax and i complained but they didnt wanna hear it!! bastards!

NEIL: Guys, guys, guys, I think I’ve solved our money problem. I’m writing to my bank manager. See what you think. [he reads from his letter] “Dear Bank Manager.” MIKE: Yeah?
NEIL: Well, that’s it. I’m quite pleased with it so far, though.
MIKE: Oh, well, it’s a strong opening, certainly.
VYVYAN: I don’t like the “Dear”. Sounds a bit too much like, “will you go to bed with me?”
NEIL: Well spoken, Vyvyan. What do you think instead?
VYVYAN: Uh, what about…”Darling”?

• [the guys concur]

NEIL: [writing] “Darling Bank Manager…” RICK: No, no, no, no, no, not “Bank Manager”, it’s far too crawly bum-lick. Tell it like it is, put, “Fascist Bullyboy”!
NEIL: “Darling Fascist Bullyboy…”
MIKE: That’s nice, yes, so far so good. So what do you want to say?
NEIL: Well, basically, I want to ask him if I can have, like, an extension on my overdraft, but I know there must be a better way of putting it than that.
MIKE: Well, what about, “Give me some more money”?
VYVYAN: …”You bastard!”

• [the guys murmur their agreement]

NEIL: Don’t you think that’s a bit strong? MIKE: Ah, Neil, people like that respect strength.
NEIL: Yeah, you’re right. Uh, “Darling Fascist Bullyboy, Give me some more money, you bastard…” Uh… “Love, Neil”.
VYVYAN: Not “_Love_ Neil”! That sounds far too much like, “Come and get it like a bitch-funky sex machine!”
NEIL: Yeah, you’re right…Uh, what about, “Yours sincerely”?
RICK: Oh, come off it, Neil. If you’re going to be that sycophantic, why don’t you go ’round there now and stick your tongue straight down the back of his trousers?
NEIL: Oh, look, I know, I know, why not, “Boom Shanka”?
MIKE: That’s hard to tell, Neil. What does it mean?
NEIL: It means, “May the seed of your loin be fruitful in the belly of your woman.”
RICK: Ah-ha! And what makes you think your bank manager’s a man?
NEIL: Uh…His beard.
MIKE: He’ll never understand “Boom Shanka”, you’ll have to write the whole thing out.
NEIL: Right, okay, here we go. “Darling Fascist Bullyboy, Give me some more money, you bastard. May the seed of your loin be fruitful in the belly of your woman, Neil.” [he looks pleased]
RICK: Well, if that doesn’t work, I don’t know what will.