Party Vibe

[if you don’t want to read this wall of text please just read the bolded text for a quick overview of my problem, thank you 🙂 ]

I just found this old oxycontin pill from years ago, seriously..it must be at least 2 least old.

It’s a gorgeous grey 80mg oxy that I used be intravenously addicted to for 4 years.

Ive been sober for almost 2 years, but always around Xmas I get these mad cravings that completely head f**k the sh*t out of my mind until I give in.
So I thought.maybe if I bang this pill the cravings will go away and I can stop feeling this sick twisted feeling in my tummy from desperation/cravings.

And also, I used to bang one pill per shot, 3 or 4 times a day.
I’ve been sober two years, I want a good buzz but I don’t want to overdose obviousy, but I don’t want to be too careful and waste the pill either as I’m worried half will be too little, and a full may be too much..
I’m on 10mg of suboxone daily, will my tolerance be up from the subby?

I really don’t want to have a full blown relapse because I almost died from the sh*t back in 2009 and it’s really embarrassing if I get really sick and go to the hospital they kinda death stare me cause they can see my file and what an idiot I am.
And I agree I’m a fool, but these mindf**k cravings are persistent. My stomach starts swishing around with nervous energy when I start thinking about drugs….. I need it to go away

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. The reason I am even contemplating injecting this old pill is because then I don’t end up back in the old crowd..if I have to ring someone to buy a pill or some heroin, and I am back in contact with them, I will probably relapse. But if I take this pill I won’t have to see any of my old drug buddies or dealers or anything and that makes me feel more confident about avoiding a relapse.

Sorry for the life story….I just want to be safe I don’t want to get blood poisoning again.
I’m going to get a sharps kit with fresh needles, fresh water, fresh swabs, so that should all be clean, but I’m worried about the old dirty pill..it’s still got the grey coating so I was hoping that once I wipe the coating off with a swab that it’ll hopefully kill all the bacteria.

It was sitting in a temaze bottle the whole time (alone, not in foil or anything) then I found it behind my cupboard and put it into my handbag, then somehow the lid opened and it was sitting in the bottom of my handbag. Probably for a week or so.

Thank you if anyone actually replies….im desperate for answers but reluctant to contact anyone from the past that may tempt me further then I can handle and relapse.