Forums › Drugs › Drug Addiction & Recovery › Is this Addiction?
@nikkitanoir 564901 wrote:
Hi, just thought I’d say I get ya… I get that like because I also suffer from anxiety attacks & am struggling with so much life crap recently, just one thing after another, and I’m not talking the little issues I’m talking mainly quite huge problems for the past 6 months so caved into ‘B’ to have a block-out escaped every now & then but it quickly escalated but now with most of the life stuff still present & I am right on the edge of slipping into that dark place where I risk losing control of fighting my mind “demons” & that scares me too much so forcing myself to knock it all on the head for a while… But in true ‘ME’ fashion I decided it would be good to end on a good one & have a blow out to clear it all from my house… It is now day 8 but all gone now!!! so hoping to crash soon, praying I sleep through my come-down & be fresh & ready for my healthy healthy journey back to normality & finding things to fill my time… this quit also includes weed so big leap but mental state & it starting to affect my home life has trigged this much needed head-sortout!?! so how’s things going with you lately?
Hi, what is ‘B’? I’m assuming that’s your weapon of choice.
I’m up and down, as always. Been doing quite a lot of binging these last couple of months. Although these sessions were somewhat justified as they were for occasions. Had a couple of friend’s birthday parties and a music festival, whereas I was just binging at the weekend just because I could. I’ve been doing a lot less of that recently, plus I’ve had fairly large quantities of various substances in the house and managed to just leave them where they are. I think 6 months or so ago I wouldn’t have had the self control to not just be eating/smoking the lot.
How you feeling after your blow-out?
Hey! ‘b’ is base (sorry i’m just used to texting that in code to my crazy chick best mate!)
Wow, well done, hey that must feel pretty damn good, because that’s a huge achievement & requires some strong willpower & alot more effort & strength to get there. I am chuffed for ya dude :D. I struggled through that same battle but that was cocaine! That’s how I control it so well (apart for the last 6months!) the memory of fighting that addiction alone & the fear of becoming that person again, I could never let my boy down like that again just cause of my selfish habits! But I feel that’s what I’ve been doing to him the last 6 months, it’s been so bizarre & still going on… lol you sound rather chilled & happy & relaxed about life? That’s cool! I am mostly happy with my life, just need to snap out of this self destruction phase 🙁 I get to see my boy tomorrow, he has been in Greece with his dad for TWO weeks! :O & the best bit, he has been sent a settle offer for his dog bite claim & because the police didn’t do anything & the owner never did anything either & my poor boy has to see that dog every day on the school bus so the satisfaction that little lad is going to get something out of being made to go through shit like this he deserves something & I have been desperate to tell him for 3 days… I want to see his face light up when I tell him 😀
I have absolutely no idea what I’ve just written sorry if it’s utter shite I have not slept for 3 days & I had a sudden crash feeling so. .. n’night! i gotta go out at 8pm! :O lol
:O oh bad bad bad… Ummmm i think i may have slightly pushed it a little too far this time… whoops :S tut tut slap my hands! I can’t even get up to go to the toilet because I nearly pass out everytime I stand up & go out in the bright hallway!!! Disgraceful behaviour!!! managed to make it back into bed & lie down without actually crashing in a sweaty heap somewhere on my bedroom floor, usually having whacked my head on something!!! FUCK IT… I AM ABSOLUTELY TWATTED!!! :p what a stupid stupid cow! You’d think I’d of learnt by now wouldn’t you, but I never learn it seems… i don’t know why I can’t sleep though? Omg I’ve just realised I’ve got tramadol from my mates the other day that ought to help! Ah but i can’t stand up to get them!!! :O that is just, typical of my luck! when I’m like this i challenge myself see if I can guess how many cigarettes ill roll before i realise I’m supposed to be rolling a joint! It’s a quite well known game in this bed! ;P oh my what a fucking sorry state to get yourself in, need my ass kicking! The boy’ll be home tomorrow he’ll whip my ass in gear yay I’m so excited to see him, I’ve really really missed him, I’ve needed him, has been hard & sad without him here. *NEED SLEEP*!!!
@nikkitanoir 564936 wrote:
Hey! ‘b’ is base (sorry i’m just used to texting that in code to my crazy chick best mate!)
Wow, well done, hey that must feel pretty damn good, because that’s a huge achievement & requires some strong willpower & alot more effort & strength to get there. I am chuffed for ya dude :D. I struggled through that same battle but that was cocaine! That’s how I control it so well (apart for the last 6months!) the memory of fighting that addiction alone & the fear of becoming that person again, I could never let my boy down like that again just cause of my selfish habits! But I feel that’s what I’ve been doing to him the last 6 months, it’s been so bizarre & still going on… lol you sound rather chilled & happy & relaxed about life? That’s cool! I am mostly happy with my life, just need to snap out of this self destruction phase 🙁 I get to see my boy tomorrow, he has been in Greece with his dad for TWO weeks! :O & the best bit, he has been sent a settle offer for his dog bite claim & because the police didn’t do anything & the owner never did anything either & my poor boy has to see that dog every day on the school bus so the satisfaction that little lad is going to get something out of being made to go through shit like this he deserves something & I have been desperate to tell him for 3 days… I want to see his face light up when I tell him 😀
I have absolutely no idea what I’ve just written sorry if it’s utter shite I have not slept for 3 days & I had a sudden crash feeling so. .. n’night! i gotta go out at 8pm! :O lol
Ah, base is not my cup of tea. MDMA is my stimulant of choice if I’m going on an upper sesh; that’s another substance I’ve been addicted to, twice, in the past. I’ve developed the self control now not to over do it with that one now though.
When I’m not being hindered by my depression I generally am a very chilled, go with the flow type person. My life is in quite a bit of turmoil at the moment really so can’t say I am particularly happy, but I’ve lived through worse times so I’m sure I’ll pull through. Thanks for the concern though.
Perhaps I shouldn’t laugh, but lol, you need to sleep. Your text is quite erratic; jumping from negative to positive aspects rapidly.
Do you not have access to any Xanax or similar. If you’ve not eaten during your binge, which I’m guessing you haven’t, Tramadol might not sit well.
Addiction is make very bad our lovely life and it also bad very bad for our families. Addiction is a disease of the mind, which lies to the addict and convinces him/her that everyone is against them, and that only the addict has everything under control.
I’m on the brink of just caving in. I feel as if my life has no meaning or purpose. My biggest issue though is that I don’t really want to get ‘better’, I mean I want to be happy, but I feel as if that’ll never be accomplished in this day and age. I’m sick of society and this consumerist bullshit, dog eat dog world we live in. Why are we brought up to be so fucking selfish and competitive.
I hate the human species as a whole and do not wish to be associated with it any longer.
Psy dont do that brother.ive felt the same way before.n on a total i dont like ppl maybe thats why i lived susuch a countercoulture lifestyle.Psy im a hard drug addict,heroin ,meth,a
injectioning crack cocaine.i too carried many of ur views.but like me its probbably hard for u too see any good in yourself,through all of the self hate.while others readily see the good in us.we cannot.it took me losing everything to realize i want alot of things i have said i dont care about,also im more sympathetic to ppl.maybe its just because im shell shocked.even in this city which i live,which rivals most 3rd world countries.(detroit)ive found beauty.Psy ur good guy. if this is about a girl.dude there is a million of them out there.My last girlfriend is testyfing against me in federal court. im likly gunna spend all my 30s in prison.an its ok i made a choice.i know u dont think u deserve happiness.but every post where someone needs encouragement.u always have good helpful input.So give urself a break psy…u deserve one..
Long time since anyone posted in this thread. Psy how are you? Really identified with your pain and challenges. Hope you are ok and things have started to get better for you.
I think many of us have experienced similar demons. I’ve had problems with Coke and recently fractured my skull high on mdma. For me that was the life changing event but I think a lot of these things are down to routine and or boredom. Do you always get fuckd up once you start boozing? Is it always with a certain friend? Do you always smoke weed as soon as u get home from
Work for example? Hard as it is I think it’s about breaking the habit and keeping your
Mind occupied. I would often go on weekend binges of Coke weed booze Mandy purely out of boredom. I think if u can find something to do when the urges are almost unbearable it will at least take ur mind off it. I’d find often I’d call my guy out of boredom and then as soon as he was on his way and delivering to me I’d regret calling him.
Stay strong and do let us know how you are doing x
If drugs interfere with your normal lifestyle and cause relationship problems, etc, then yes it is an addiction that you need help for. And yes, there is such a thing as a functioning alcoholic/addict. Just trust me.
@The Psyentist 533918 wrote:
I’m sure most of you by now are aware that I really like drugs. I’ve smoked weed for 7 years now (pretty much daily) and have been taking ecstasy in both pill and crystal form on and off for 5. I’ve also tried a lot of other stuff but they’re my 2 favourite and most frequently used. Both of which I can say I have been addicted to in the past but that was over 3 years ago.
Last time I found myself caught up in an addicts cycle I was spending about £60 a day to feed my habit which lasted 6 months or so before I retook control of life. Recently though I feel I’ve developed a new kind of addiction, this time I’m not so much craving any particular substance(s) but become possessed by a general desire to escape sobriety.
When I’ve experienced addiction in the past pretty much every waking moment I wasn’t high on MDMA or weed I craved them, and that was the type of high I felt I needed. Now however I can go about my working week with only a few joints no problem, hard drugs may not even cross my mind. But once I reach the weekend I just want to get totalled, but again I don’t seek any particular high just whatever I can get hold of.
My urge to get high though doesn’t surpass rational thinking meaning I don’t take drugs I wouldn’t normally take nor do I buy if I can’t afford. This means I can and will stay away from drugs if need be. The only problem with this is that I seem to experience comedown like symptoms anyway.
A few times recently I’ve reached Sunday night or Monday morning and I become an irritable antisocial gremlin because I haven’t had drugs.
Is this some sort of psychological addiction or do I just like drugs too much?
I WOULD MUCH MORE SAY THIS IS AN EXCELLENT SIGN OF MATURITY.
It shows that you are (were) in 2013 begining to control your addictions and accepting the fact that you can live and work without being necessery under influence of drugs.
This is a faculty that people learn with time as they get older. (JUST WHAT I HAVE SEEN THROUGH ALL MY YEARS)
Until I was around 30, It was impossible for me to travel somewhere without taking the necessery amount for the time I would be away, and often when I was out of stock, If there was still one week to go back, I booked a plane and stoppped my holidays. I don’t know why , but the first time it didn’t happend like this was in GOA 2001, where 10 days before the end i had nothing any more, but i didn’t feel the need to use any drugs for the last days
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Forums › Drugs › Drug Addiction & Recovery › Is this Addiction?
