Hey Extraslim,
Logically, we know with the economy as it is, you are not alone, but more importantly, you’re not alone to being without work, possibly due to mental illness. I’ve had “issues” since I was around 11, but it wasn’t until I fell in love, that it brought all my supressed issues into consciousness. Like you, I have a lot of mental issues to face.
The point is, no matter how much we involve ourselves in hedonism (as I’ve done :), using techniques to avoid said pain, change etc, it will always remain with us. It is something that is informing our consciousness of the need for change. Growing up, I used to naively believe in wish fulfillment…it doesn’t work. It TAKES actual physical, mental WORK. The things, people, ANYTHING that matters requires effort. Are you into science? It’s the same process. Energy equals matter-physical being. I promise you, from someone that has tried to rid herself… I have over the past five months, tried to face everything without excuses or buffers, and see it as a challenge, I have chosen to rise to it, and I’ve never felt better…in the long run. You need to be around someone who can see the long-term change, because day-to-day, we won’t be able to see it. It is happening and changing for the better. You can do it!
It’s only in the past five months that I have faced my issues, head on without crutches, and even achieving that in itself is a huge step, and I can’t tell you the pride and motion towards contentment I feel, for facing my issues without a buffer. We know that it will take a long time, and minute steps to achieve this fully, automatically. We have to train ourselves to think a certain way.
For example, I grew up listening to Rock music, which I adore, but in times of severe depression, I would seek the darker elements of life, like depressive, homogenous rock…does it help in the interim? Yes. Would it be better for me to seek refuge in music or anything vaguely celebratory, happy or positive in the long-term…yes!
There is meaning to seek the “light”. Are you into philosophy etc? You should read Conversations With God…it tells you that nothing is wrong in life. The item of most importance is to listen to your soul, and follow your inner most wishes. So, like me and you, if hedonism is our way of life, perhaps we can incorporate that into our lives in a progressive, functional way. Have you thought about DJing, or doing something similar? I want to do that too…I don’t feel that I can truely conform to the ideals society asks of me. I’m hopeful that positive things will come my way, even though I don’t feel it on a daily basis. Just say it. You won’t believe it for a long time. As the book suggests, the time frame between thinking something positive and it coming into fruition will become shorter, the more you think that you ARE valuable, the more it will feedback in your bio-system.
Believe me. I was and still am to some degree the most cautious, afraid, unrelaxed being you can come across. However in the past five months, thanks to this new belief system, I am gravitating towards “contentment”. So, we both have to actively make changes to our thought processes…if I don’t feel like exercising, what do I do? I strap on those weights and go walking, or play Softball. You can do it too. :))
Lastly, even with a belief, “bad” things will happen. It’s how we perceive said events. They’re not necessarily bad. They just are…
Jeez, I sound like a nut lol. I mean hugs…look to the light in everything in your life, because you are needed and meaningful. If you read this book, you’ll understand.
Lastly, I devoted my entire existence to other people, which is good, but neglecting myself is not. The self is important as another (discussed further in Conversations with God) So, view the voluntary work as helping yourself…and perhaps you’ll find that you get more from it than you thought. I’ve done a lot of voluntary work, and I’ve often found that I gained more than the recipients…
You’ll find that when you feel better about yourself, you’ll feel able to give more. The fact that so many relationships fail is because we forget about oursleves. We compromise ourseleves too much. So in voluntary work, you are just as important. I find that with unpaid work, there is more appreciation for your efforts and enjoyment, so please, give it a go!
If you need someone to talk to, I’m sure you can contact me via here (new, so not sure) We’re both in the same boat. You’ll get there. The fact that we’re both striving and not giving up, says a lot about our character. Remember that.
Best wishes…and apologies for not being as smart as I can be…on new medication that is causing drowsiness…doh!
Best wishes from someone who is going through the same beep!
