@1984 389478 wrote:
post it man, might help people. Just an idea. hows the giving up going? hope things are working out
Its going good thanks man. Im actually in the BHT recovery project rehab here in Brighton at the moment.. been here for 3 weeks and its going good. Its all based on the 12 step program.. basically i get up at 7am everyday and depending on what day it is i have Here and Now group, which is about here and now issues that are affecting you within the community (theres another 26 drug/alcohol addicts in here) or we have Relapse Prevention group, where we have to share a time when we used.. why we used, the affects it had on others and what we could have done to prevent. Accupunture is ever Monday for 3 hours. Lots of 1-1 keywork. Ive just gone onto secondary phase whih means i can leave the project on my own, where as before i had to be escorted with another peer.. We have to go to atleast 4 AA, Ca or NA (alcoholics, cocaine, narcotics anonymous meetings) a week. we get lots of free time too.. whih i send most of in the budah garden.. its lovely. a waterfall, lots of nice plants and a really zen atmosphere. The best thing is housing benefit pay for your stay there.. Im in a house with 4 other people which im grateful for coz i have a problem in soial situations.. especially when i sober. thats why half the time i took ket when i was out and socialising, coz i thought i had nothing interesting to say, so i may aswell katamize myself so much that i couldnt talk anyway,
So yea, im glad im here.. will be there untill september time if all goes well, which it is.
I cant access this site from rehab (im in an internet cafe), facebook and all drug related sites are restricted but i can use email so if anyone wants to email me- smash_ed@hotmail.co.uk– would be much appreciated. the highlight of my days are coming online to hat to the outside world.
For the furture i dont know what im going to do. I hope to move out of Brighton, but im in 2 minds about it. drugs are everywhere and if i want them im gonna find them where ever i am. So ill just wait and see. I came into rehab with the intention of ontrolling my ket habbit (ie it wouldnt be a habbit anymore) DRUGS ARE FOR PLEASUE GUYS! not fo everyday purpose.. which in the end turned out not to be pleasurable. it wasnt doing shit for me, gram lines and i would hardly flinch. but just the knowlege that i had shoved some horse up my nose was a comfort. But now im looking back and have realised how muh better off my life would be without ket full stop! So im gonna work on staying clean for good!
My bladder issues have got alot better also.. the bladder itself is still pretty fucked. like i have to piss ALOT more regular than ‘normal’ people but there is no urgency or pain or blood. But a stetch is inevitable and im in the middle of sorting that out with my urologist.. its part of my rehab plan. Theres a scanner here in the internet cafe i come to but i dont have the endoscopy pic on me, but ill be coming bak in a couple of day and ill definatly post it and show you was 12.5g in 24-48 hours over 3 years actually does to your insides and hopefuly make people think! Ive been writing a journal for the past 6 months about my ket habbit and ive continued it whilst im in here that im quite tempted to put online, but i hesitant about it coz theres alot of bad things in there that ive done as a result of ketamine, but as the 12 steps says-
Step 5 – Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs
(the whole god thing goes straight over my head. they say to interperet the word God as what ever you like.. a higher being, or even the power within yourself)
take care people. and just remember… SAY NEIGH!
