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  • First of all I’d like to give an advanced apology for all the obscenities in this post, if you’re offended by foul language I would discontinue reading now…..

    I’m sure most of you at this point have already read at least one post where I refer to my fluctuating mental health but for those of you who are unaware I’m battling with an emotional disorder (perhaps bipolar but the doctors can’t decide) for the last 10years. The reason isn’t really important at this point but incase you’re wondering why my problems started I suspect it was due to my biological dad leaving me and my mother when I was an infant and my stepfather was an abusive cunt.

    I was fighting my demons alone for many years and despite obvious depression and an attempted suicide at 17 nobody ever looked further into it or asked if I was really okay. So I’m guessing I hid it pretty well for no-one to pick up on it. As well as my erratic mood swings insomnia has also loomed over me since the age of 15 although this only became a real problem back in October last year, not sure what caused the change but I was literally not sleeping at all for 4-5 days of every week pretty much for around 4 months. This had repercussions on my mental health and my mood swings became more erratic and more severe. Feeling unable to cope and seeing the strain it was placing on my girlfriend I conceded that I probably required professional help.

    This is where I start to get real pissed off and start swearing a lot. It feels as if since I’ve opened myself up and admitted to my problems all people do is question my fucking competence. It really seems like I’m unable to act now without someone asking if I’ve acted in such a manner because I’m unwell. FUCK OFF YOU JUDGEMENTAL PRICKS! Why is it every single time I have an off day or I’m in a bad mood some cunt assumes it’s because of my mental health?!?! I am still capable of experiencing emotions outside of my condition you ignorant wankers. Take today for instance, my girlfriend has come back from a visit to her sister’s in London and essentially accused me of cheating on her while she was away. Okay so she didn’t directly accuse me but asked questions then said she didn’t believe me. That’s as good as being accused is it not? Then she fucking wonders why that would upset me the stupid bitch, oh that’s right it must be because I’m unstable!

    I feel I was better off when I was fighting this alone, I managed nearly 10 years of it but after just under 6months of being open about it I’m really fucking struggling to compose myself.

    Just so you know I am able to recognise when I’m having an episode and this has resulted in me becoming highly self analytical, I’ve spent years studying and questioning myself so I’m extremely aware of my condition and capable of distinguishing between I’m upset because I’m an emotional fuck up and I’m pissed because such a person is a twat. Also for whatever reason my sleep pattern fixed itself around mid February as did my hyper mood swings. I’ve generally been feeling better in myself since but I’ve had plenty of other outside factors pissing me off and getting me down. My brother seems to be the only one who listens and understands, everyone else seems to have impression I’m emotionally incompetent. Seems the mentally unwell are much better at handling this sort of instability than the ‘normal’ people.

    Anybody else have any similar experiences? Whether you are/were the ill person or you were one of the friends, family or whatever I’d like to hear. I know there can be a stigma attached to this sort of ill health, only recently have I actually understood why, so if you’re not comfortable discussing it on a public forum feel free to PM me.

    @The Psyentist 539721 wrote:

    Anybody else have any similar experiences?

    Fucking hell, yes. In terms of using overly loaded emotional language because I’m feeling rather let down by a fucked up society that pretends that money in regards to debt slavery is a good thing.

    Normally my sense of humour gets me out of that sort of black downward spiral but just a little thing can make me blow my stack if it happens at a certain moment.

    This is why I like Partyvibe – I treat it as a depressurisation zone where I can let my hair down. Up to a point, anyway.

    Mate, people are always gonna judge you and try and take the piss with snide comments, take p0ly for example with my recent topics, and his.. you just have to ignore them because they are not worth your time, let them tell you whatever they say/do at the end of the day just let It go over you and live your life, its them that’s feeding you energy by thinking about it. Whether it be negative or positive it’s up to you how you convert it.

    My advice to you? Get a hobby, not drugs, try and steer clear from them, I know you enjoy them, but if you joined a gym you would see a huge mental and physical change, if you lived near me man I swear I’d get you to joi. My gym and workout with you. If you don’t get motivated by gym try a different sport, find one you enjoy and you can really do and just sweat out when your playing it, motivation comes from inside yourself though man and as long as you stay focused you can definitely do it.

    Just ignore people who are negative about you, it’s the best you can do. It might take sometime, but seriously, if a conversion comes up that you don’t like just tell them nicely and politely to stop saying shit like that to you, if they continue, do the most morale thing you can do, leave the room, or house, go for a nice long walk, breathe in the beautiful air and wariness were getting, relax, go back, and continue your day, eventually they will get the point and stop, if they don’t.. Well you need to get these people OUT of your life ASAP.

    People are very selfless and they only think about themselves, it’s so bad, so don’t let this happen. If they do it for a laugh, that’s when you know they have black hearts, especially in your sensitive case. Be strong man, people are always here to help, private message me if you ever need to talk buddy

    Oh and just to let you know, your not an emotional fuck up, don’t let yourself believe that man! Your a human just like everyone else, we all make mistakes, learn from them. Life is a crazy fucking roller coaster with its ups and downs, you just have to fight through that drop.

    You have to reach rock bottom before you can fly sky high bro! Keep looking and reaching for the clouds and you will get there! Everyone’s rock bottom is different too, so don’t be fooled if someone seems to be having a perfect life, you never knows what’s going on behind hidden doors.

    You will break through this, I know I don’t know you mate, but I’m very very confident you will, and seeing as you’ve already identified the problems on your own, your half way there brother 🙂 just keep your head up high, a big smile and positive energy.

    My sincerity and thoughts/prayers really do go out to you

    @The Psyentist 539721 wrote:

    Anybody else have any similar experiences? Whether you are/were the ill person or you were one of the friends, family or whatever I’d like to hear. I know there can be a stigma attached to this sort of ill health, only recently have I actually understood why, so if you’re not comfortable discussing it on a public forum feel free to PM me.

    I had depression and anxiety my whole life, later found out I had autism. Took several overdoses the worst one being 100 paracetamol (and a L bottle of whisky a day for 3 days beforehand and 1 on the day just to make sure). Spent 2 months (maybe 3) in intensive care, had seizures, a very dangerously high blood pressure and heart rate, severe kidney and liver damage. They thought I would die; you should have seen the lines the put in my neck they were thick as pencils (Had IVs’ on each hand and a line into my heart to). Liver repaired (they are good at that), kidneys mostly. Blood pressure still bad.

    Now live with my parents and wife. Original plan was to save for a mortgage, I managed to get a job, all looking good. I then had an accident 6 ish months later and amputated my finger and severely damaged the rest of the left hand.

    My parents tiptoe around me and practically have panic attacks if I get the flu or just want to be left alone for a few days (I am 28ffs). I hate it here but then I equally hate the pain I have put them through. I try to find compassion towards their feelings and judgments. I don’t get it right all the time and I shouldn’t expect them to. I have put people through a lot so I do my best to be as understanding as possible that every low mood I have leads to them acting like I will be dead tomorrow.

    Sorry if I have digressed I hope you can sort things out mate all the best with it must be very frustraiting. *sigh* life is so hard, even in a wealthy country.

    Edit: Necklines see below.

    [ATTACH=CONFIG]153116[/ATTACH]

    Get a hobby, not drugs, try and steer clear from them, I know you enjoy them, but if you joined a gym you would see a huge mental and physical change, if you lived near me man I swear I’d get you to joi….

    @photographthesun 539883 wrote:

    Liver repaired (they are good at that), kidneys mostly. Blood pressure still bad.

    Liver is most regenerative organ – you can lose 90% of it and recover.

    Kidneys not nearly so, but there is a lot of research currently on growing new ones. This story was especially encouraging;-

    BBC News – Scientists make ‘laboratory-grown’ kidney

    Anything that doesn’t actually kill you, makes you stronger.

    Mountain biking & weight lifting saved my mental health to be honest.

    @Pat McDonald 541138 wrote:

    Anything that doesn’t actually kill you, makes you stronger.

    No its reduced my lifespan and given me high blood pressure.

    @photographthesun 541161 wrote:

    No its reduced my lifespan and given me high blood pressure.

    Mentally.

    @Savvydravvy 541168 wrote:

    Mentally.

    I guess a case could be made for that

    @Blair123 541110 wrote:

    Get a hobby, not drugs, try and steer clear from them, I know you enjoy them, but if you joined a gym you would see a huge mental and physical change, if you lived near me man I swear I’d get you to joi….

    Da fuck…?

    @DeezNuts 541157 wrote:

    Mountain biking & weight lifting saved my mental health to be honest.

    exercise is the key!
    A few years back when i lost my job and went on the dole and life got really bad, dog died, dad died, lost my flat cos i couldn’t pay the bills and rent, friendship circle split up. All within the space of a few months i became severely depressed, i went to the docs to get help, and although she did prescribe me fluxo something or other (prozac) she also gave me loads of other options, one of them being a mental health exercise program (i forget the name of it)
    And i got put on it for 6 months so i could swim for free, as i had lost my job previously i could no longer afford a swim membership which is my absolute passion.
    I wasn’t picking up my prozac prescription from the chemist but just swimming everyday , took about 6 months to get properly out of the depression but swimming everyday gave me a small reminder of why life was still worth living.

    @korno 541235 wrote:

    exercise is the key!
    A few years back when i lost my job and went on the dole and life got really bad, dog died, dad died, lost my flat cos i couldn’t pay the bills and rent, friendship circle split up. All within the space of a few months i became severely depressed, i went to the docs to get help, and although she did prescribe me fluxo something or other (prozac) she also gave me loads of other options, one of them being a mental health exercise program (i forget the name of it)
    And i got put on it for 6 months so i could swim for free, as i had lost my job previously i could no longer afford a swim membership which is my absolute passion.
    I wasn’t picking up my prozac prescription from the chemist but just swimming everyday , took about 6 months to get properly out of the depression but swimming everyday gave me a small reminder of why life was still worth living.

    You get those tasty endorphins too, which helps with the depression. Natural highs!

    @photographthesun 541161 wrote:

    No its reduced my lifespan and given me high blood pressure.

    Well look. You couldn’t take any more pain and you tried to stop the pain with an overdose. Which didn’t happen.

    True, it damaged you… but you survived and you learned what really matters to you – the love of those that you love.

    Blood pressure can be controlled mentally, without drugs. Ever tried that?

    You made a mistake… EVERYBODY makes mistakes. Important thing is that we learn from them.

    The person whom I found it most difficult to forgive was me. I think maybe you are having a similar problem, along with all the problems that you have and I do not… and of course I have problems that you don’t have.

    Life is problems. Living is sorting problems out. Can take years, decades. But they can be sorted, so long as you don’t give up sorting them.

    (I’m BLOODY AWFUL for putting things off, by the way.)

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Forums Life Health & Medicine Mental Health