Mid Winter Blues or Depression

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Mid Winter Blues or Depression

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December 28, 2007 at 3:05 pm

#895564
1

Raj

@raj

Member
I always find this time of year particularly hard – my family are sitting at home bored and seem to feel that its their right to tell me I am screwing up/underperforming in their opinion. Especially when I ring to say thank you for presents :hopeless:
They dont seem to realise that when I am already depressed is not when I need to be told they think I am screwing up – the day to day stuff is bad enough without the extra pressure.

In fact they have managed to push me into a huge black hole and I am really struggling with it to be honest. I feel useless and worthless and they have achieved that in 15 minutes of conversation :hopeless: :hopeless: Intellectually I know thats bullshit but thats how they have made me feel [again]. I am just sitting here wondering why I bother :cry::cry:
December 28, 2007 at 3:32 pm

#895610
6

Angel

@angel

Moderator
Staff
You’re not worthless or useless :you_crazy

Your one of the kindest ,warmest and most caring people I have ever met..

Don’t listen to your family sweetie..

It’s them who’s missing out by pushing you away :group_hug

Your a wonderful person :sign0100:

And I’ll keep telling you that until you believe me one day :group_hug
December 28, 2007 at 3:54 pm

#895573
1

Tank Girl

@tank-girl

Member
this is 3rd time lucky as keep getting logged out – so here goes

Raj :
family seem to have a special knack of knowing exactley the wrong words to say and can break your spirit (in my personal experience) so easily and often without even realiseing how damageing they are being…..
I dont personally know you but from what I see and read on PV makes me want to, I see a kind careing, compassionate, intellegent and empathatic person, who despite their own problems takes time out to upport, guide and listen to others, ~I dont want to come across as sicophantic (?sp) I just wanted you to know…
its easy me writing this but the hard bit is you HEARING it :love:

:group_hug:group_hug:group_hug:group_hug:group_hug look after yourself
December 28, 2007 at 9:36 pm

#895583
1

tarifa

@tarifa

Member
:group_hug :group_hug :group_hug :group_hug :group_hug
December 29, 2007 at 8:22 am

#895538
6

General Lighting

@general-lighting

Moderator
Staff
Raj wrote:

I always find this time of year particularly hard – my family are sitting at home bored and seem to feel that its their right to tell me I am screwing up/underperforming in their opinion. Especially when I ring to say thank you for presents :hopeless:
They dont seem to realise that when I am already depressed is not when I need to be told they think I am screwing up – the day to day stuff is bad enough without the extra pressure.

TBH you are an extremely high achiever compared to many others in your country or the UK as a whole..

As TG says I think families just pile on the pressure without knowing it; it took until my thirties and the death of my father (and a lot of his illness IMO was also due to the stress and anger in his life wrecking his physical health) before my own family stopped doing this.

I don’t think “normal society” actually realises how ruthless and competitive life has become (or maybe they don’t care and/or accept this as part of life) and its even harder for anyone who trys to go “outside the system” so we need to support one another.
December 29, 2007 at 8:30 am

#895545
1

globalloon

@globalloon

Member
i wrote a long reply and lost it :yakk:

suffice to say, excellent thread, Raj. thank you for researching all that. it is all particularly relevant at this time of year.

and i have been somewhere similar to where you are now… one of the most important things, in my experience, is to talk to friends and those close to you about how you are feeling when you are low.
December 29, 2007 at 6:57 pm

#895565
1

Raj

@raj

Member
Thanks guys :love:

I called someone who came round and talked me through that patch. That was a great help and talking has helped me get a clearer perspective on some of the things that are bothering me. It doesnt solve the problems but they dont seem so damn huge now which is nice. An unexpected visit from a friend and some long chats with others and I feel almost normal again. :love:

@TG family can be a right pain. My family may mean well but the road to hell is paved with good intentions and they are getting there fast. I wont allow them to do what they did to me and my brother to our kids :you_smart
January 13, 2008 at 5:02 pm

#895553
1

process

@process

Member
compared to these problems mine are pretty small the main thing is 2 of my bestfriends b/f and g/f have left to move to Aus. not sure if ill ever see them again and it has done my head in. It was there leaving do on fri, which was alright, but it was in a club so didnt really get to speak much. I had an emotional good bye, but as your in a club you cant really talk properly and you aways think of stuff you should have said after the time in question. Anyway i didnt think it would effect me so bad, but i woke up yesterday crying and spent most of the day doing the same. And today i cant stop thinkin about them and other stuff.
its rubbish they are going cause they are the ones i can easily talk to about this sort of stuff and they have really been there for me in the past when the shit has hit the fan.
Not sure if writing this has made me feel any better or worse.:hopeless:
January 13, 2008 at 5:06 pm

#895611
6

Angel

@angel

Moderator
Staff
Saying good bye to friends is really hard..

:group_hug:group_hug:group_hug
January 13, 2008 at 5:21 pm

#895554
1

process

@process

Member
Angel wrote:

Saying good bye to friends is really hard..

:group_hug:group_hug:group_hug

thanks angel.:love:

dont suppose you can draw can you? (see my poll question in the chat forum if you dont know why im asking…)
February 28, 2008 at 10:11 am

#895566
1

Raj

@raj

Member
Hey folks

Still here and getting better slowly but surely 🙂

I tried three kinds of antidepressant before my GP and I found some that really worked for me but work they do :weee:

Now I find it appalling how badly depresssed I was a few months back and that I hadnt noticed myself sliding into that depression.:crazy: Everything had gotten on top of me [just cleared out 5 months of unopened post which I had been avoiding :hiding:] [ last week it was the piles of random shite I had stacked about in my bedroom because I hadnt put them away :rolleyes:]
The thing is that recovery from depression that bad is going to take me a while and so is sorting out the mess I have allowed to accumulate in that time in my life.

How are all of you doing? :group_hug
February 28, 2008 at 10:17 am

#895590
1

lilmstrixta

@lilmstrixta

Member
hey glad to hear your feeling better, i am in the process of beeing weened off my anti depressants has been a long process getting better but i am final happy with my life. i had a mental past 5 years im just thankfull i am coming out of it now.
February 28, 2008 at 10:22 am

#895567
1

Raj

@raj

Member
lilmstrixta wrote:

hey glad to hear your feeling better, i am in the process of beeing weened off my anti depressants has been a long process getting better but i am final happy with my life. i had a mental past 5 years im just thankfull i am coming out of it now.

:group_hug:group_hug:group_hug

Glad to hear it :love: and gently does it 😉
March 27, 2008 at 7:39 pm

#895568
1

Raj

@raj

Member
Amazing to look back now and see where I had got to :hopeless: not a good place…

The daylight is coming back now and that helps a lot. Still taking the tablets though as I dont feel 100%.

How is everyone else? :group_hug
September 24, 2008 at 6:44 pm

#895569
1

Raj

@raj

Member
Another useful phone number:

0800 83 85 87 for an organisation called breathing space based in Scotland

http://www.breathingspacescotland.co.uk/

Part of the national strategy and action plan to prevent suicide in Scotland
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