Party Vibe

ECT is basically literally shocking people with various currents of electricity. It has been around since electricity was invented (when giving people strong electric shocks was once viewed as a cure-all) and is a very old (and controversial) technique. As an engineer I have been shocked a few times by various pieces of equipment (second worse to mains is ISDN aux power from British Telecom, 120V DC on bare (and unmarked) terminals :rant: and the ECT current is about the same as this, so it can hardly be pleasant..

@Gazatronium-Ethane 416075 wrote:

the depression is back again. don’t really feel like i wanna do anything anymore, feel like throwing the towel in

I think its normal to feel this way around winter and/or when good things come to an end… your early to mid 20s for a young man is a bad time as a lot of dreams you had turned out to be unattainable and you find you have to drop back into the rat race or be thrown on the scrapheap..

I wouldn’t say I suffer from depression as such (as I can stil work and function well) and I am lucky that I enjoy most of my job and it isn’t as bad as others I’ve had… however I am really finding it hard to do anything fun/creative since calming down on the party lifestyle and leading a more solitary life – (although I’ve started trying to take more photos for work) – and my newer friends don’t socialise as much (I think transport is an issue as unlike SE England this place is big), they don’t do drugs and stay up late, and we even don’t have a common space to gather and create stuff like the squats I used to help crack in the 2000s, and raves here are locked off big time. I am working on the creative space thing with some others but it takes time as property still holds its value and squatting isn’t feasible here (you get arrested and the building locked off).

Also winter doesn’t help as you are often boxed in due to weather/transport problems.. and a lot of my human friends have drifted away recently, my non-human ones (I befriend random cats I meet in the street or in the courtyard at work) are also staying at home due to weather…

We are lucky though we’ve actually got stuff like Internet to talk to each other. I was thinking just yesterday if there was stuff like PV in my late teens / early 20s (it only took off when I was in my late 20s). Things do get better in the spring but its sometimes worth reassessing your “dreams and ambitions” as well..

it took several crap jobs before I got to that stage, one near dream job (TV industry) actually turned into a fucking nightmare, then I got laid off, was unemployed for a year then curiously after that got a job for the Government in the Civil Service for 4 years which was actually far less crap than it seemed and I did really well, (learned a lot of stuff about nature/environment as well) only to get downsized again as the war took away my Department’s budget!

I do agree though that much of British management is shit which is why our businesses are often shit, and there is a lot of ruthless competition and bullying in some fields, ironically it gets worse with desirable jobs..

During the 1990s I put nearly 5 years of my life into moving into media production, which resulted in fuck all.

Not that I “couldn’t do it” but the industry was (and still is) imploding – I can do anything from making films to building whole studios but no one wants to pay for this sort of work any more so its never gonna be a career path, but I managed to at least use my tech skills for other stuff… OK building accounts databases and telephone systems isn’t as “fun” but it pays the bills.

BTW what were you working as? you come across as fairly intelligent (if a bit strange sometimes :laugh_at:) and must have some useful skills….