My boyfriend is a Heroin Addict...

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My boyfriend is a Heroin Addict…

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January 29, 2007 at 10:23 pm

#724119
1

skinyourein

@skinyourein

Member
the problem with opiates is that they take away pain wether that pain is emotional or physical.they then become a crutch and then an addiction.they become your whole way of life and not only influence who you socialise with but through need decrease your social circle to mainly users. detox is the first step but you also have to comprehend the complete change in your life style. you have to stop hanging around with the crew and find yourself friends who don’t do gear. you have to be prepared for the sight of a ten pound note and the feelings that will well up inside you ….and that phone box you used to score in….forget about walking past it again for a very long time. you have to deal with the emotional and/or physical pain that led you to discover heroin was the most beautiful relief from your ever increasing feeling of loss or isolation or just not feeling you have a place in this world.you need to face your demons head on and be able to look them in the eye and say with pride and belief i am amazing and valuable and beautiful. you have to be able to accept that life is hard and a trial and there will be days when the world seems like a cruel, unbearable place but these feelings will recede given time.counselling be it formal or be it through the strength of those who love you as you love them is a wonderfull way to face the monsters that will forever be with you. it allows you to consider the pain that led to your addiction in a whole new way and allows you to create whole new coping mechanisms so in the future when they rear their ugly head you can fight them. they will never go away. they are part of you and that will never change……it will be you that changes. good luck to all of you.x
January 30, 2007 at 7:38 pm

#724074
1

Raj

@raj

Member
:flowers: :flowers: :flowers:

Thanks for sharing that :weee: and well done raaaraaa
February 8, 2007 at 11:46 pm

#724110
1

BenNJerry79

@bennjerry79

Member
hey can everyone please tell me how long it takes for methadone to clear from your system ,so when taking a drug test it will not test positive?
February 8, 2007 at 11:48 pm

#724111
1

BenNJerry79

@bennjerry79

Member
oh i found it ! 2 – 6 days !
March 6, 2007 at 1:09 am

#724118
1

Ellie_

@ellie_

Member
2-6 Days?? I DON’T think so hun!!

Methodone stays in your system FAR FAR longer than heroin and other opiates. Methodone stays in your system between 7-14 days, its stays in the system longer because it is longer acting whereas heroin & other opiates will hold someone for 3-24 hours methodone will last between 24-48 hours.

If someone has been taking Meth for a long peroid of time this will also effect how long it takes to get outta of he system.

xxx:group_hug xxx:group_hug
Hope everything is A OK!!!!!!!!
March 6, 2007 at 2:17 am

#724017
[deleted]

@[deleted]

Guest
Angel wrote:

I think a lot of people here know what ill say to you…You cant help him,he can only help himself..
I had a boyfriend when i was 16,he wasnt an addict but he was stealing,selling junk,beating people up when they couldent pay..Well he ended up in prison..I thought i couldent live without him,he was everything that mattered to me..But i eventually managed to go on living my life..
When he came out from prison,he started to use heroin,i felt so guilty for not standing bye his side,that i run into his arms again..I managed to get away again on some point..And i think that if i had stayed with him,would have been dead now,becauce he could get me to do anything,his way was the only way..

My point is that i years after have realised that i didnt love him,i felt pitty for him,and would have done anything to help him..But i couldent,he needet to want it him self,i could not force him to do anything..In the end i started to blame myself for his addiction”it must be me there is somthing wrong with”since he didnt wanted to come clean..My life was a hell..

Now 21 years later i still think about him,and he have marked me for life… I never feel i can do anything right,i fell so guilty for others mistakes,the smallest negative word said about me still makes me cry,it take so long for me to trust other people,i dont believe it when others tell me they love me,i blame myself for everything bad in my life..

I have just been very sick,i blame myself..if i had done this and this it might never have happend,feel i have ruined my family’s life,can never forgive myself for that..My life is still a mess and it get worse and worse,some days i wish i never had survived my illness..
I dont say that you will end up like me,i hope not..But please take care of yourself,nobody else are doing it for you…Get out now..

I’m sorry if this is not well written,i have never wrote such a long message before,and it is a bit of a mess..

Love T

:group_hug :group_hug

well, I feel I’m somewhere in the middle here. My b/f is back in prison after i waited 5 yrs for him the 1st time. he was out 12 mths or so and back in for 3 yrs and i’m not waiting any longer. Do not feel guilty. Ask yourself, Would he have stood by you while you did what he did? I doubt it very much. My god after the 5 yrs of waiting and visiting and listening to all the bollocks of wot he was going to do when he got out, how he was a changed man etc. never again.

This time he went down I picked myself and daughter up and moved, left no forwarding address, nothing. If he finds me he will but he’ll get no more mothering off me. I got him all sorted the 1st time out. Nice flat to live in (that was one of the deals) I knew it’d be hard living together after 5 yrs on my own with daughter fast becomming a teenager. And I knew he’d end up back in prison after a few weeks. He was back with all his old croonies, blaming me for going back on it cos i’d not let him move in with me! He soon 4got the 5 yrs i waited and visited him, HIS SO CALLED MATES ONLY SAW HIM ON THEIR LITTLE STINTS IN THE NICK WHILE HE WAS DOING THE BIG ONE!. I was the one being used. All his prison letters are gone, nothing here to remind me of him except his daughter, We still love him but he used to ask me to get him a bag in to prison for him! lol, as if. That’s love? That would have got me 3 yrs and our daughter in care! All for what? A few lines. I like a toot myself but just seem to have willpower. Don’t know if it’s a womans thing or what.

If I had to choose what to do with my last tenner it most definately wouldn’t be smack. Now if I had 20 and felt like one, maybe. Maybe not. I don’t HAVE TO. I enjoy the choice. I rule IT. IT DON’T RULE ME AND NOR DOES HE! Anyway, all I’m saying is they are weak willed individuals that will never change while you are there being MUMMY to them. GET OUT while you still got some pride girl. If it’s BAD BOYS you like get one that makes money, not waste it and gets wasted himself. And to T, sorry to say this but you sound like a mum who’s child was killed. Parents say things like ”Was it something we did, could we have done better. The best thing to do is LOSE ‘EM before you lose YOU!:group_hug :group_hug
June 12, 2007 at 3:39 pm

#724112
1

BenNJerry79

@bennjerry79

Member
:love:

So its been a while since ive posted on this thing! ive been so busy, i even graduated from uni this past may! the boyfriend has moved in with me since january, and things seem to be ok… well hes been on this new treatment called suboxone… we seem to fight a lot thought, for some reason sometimes he comes home looking like thes high,,,, but how could that be if hes takin his medicine. and i know he is because i watch him put it under his tongue.. is it possible to shoot up while on this? ive read everywhere that if you do then youll get soo sick and enter into withdrawal. so what the hell is going on? he says that its in my head, and maybe its because i dont want to believe him.

:crazy:

i love this guy weve been with each other forever, but its so hard for me to trust him right now, it sucks.. i try to think that, if he is doing anything, it will just surface in the near future, and it would be beneficial to stop trying to catch him or watch what he does near his car at night through the window!!! or go through his phone to find drugdealers.. but i hate thinking that i am being lied to.. i mean we women have a strong instinct, and everyone says that you should follow that. usually our intuition is right..

:crazy:

i just hope its wrong, that he proves me wrong, but since hes on this medicine, hes been so lazy and unmotivated, he stopped going to meetings, stoped praying, says he dosent need so much help while hes on it.

:crazy_diz

Sometimes i feel like he stops taking meds for a day, then can shoot up the next, but he says if he doesnt take it when hes supposed to, he will get sick! so i dont know man, its crazy, i am crazy.

:weee:
June 12, 2007 at 6:55 pm

#724142
6

Angel

@angel

Moderator
Staff
You have to start believing what he say at some point,even if it can be damn hard when you have been lied to so many times before:hopeless:

But you can’t go around for the rest of your life worrying about him,looking in his phone for messages etc..You’ll go crazy in the end :group_hug

You should look after yourself first!!!

And CONGRATULATION for finishing your exam raaaraaa
June 12, 2007 at 7:21 pm

#724075
1

Raj

@raj

Member
Congratulations on your graduation raaaraaaraaa Well done :weee:

With respect to your boyfriend I am going to ask you a question which you should think about the answer to very carefully:

Are you ever going to be able to trust him again?
[If you decide you cant to my mind the relationship is going nowhere and you should both move on to a new start with other people]

I dont what your answer to that question will be but if you decide you can trust him then you will have to do just that….constantly watching him will make him feel like you dont.

If he believes you dont trust him already there is less reward for him in staying clean. He may be doing the detox for the wrong reasons? He should be doing this because HE wants to, not for other people.

If you put yourself in his place – how would you feel to live with someone who doesnt trust you? [which is what you seem to be saying from my reading of your post] It is unlikely to be helping his mental state.

Why try so hard to stay clean if no one believes you? [And you seem to think he is not clean anyhow – if this is the case where will you go from here? Is there any point in staying with him?]

Sorry to be so blunt about this but you need to work these answers out :flowers:

:group_hug:group_hug:group_hug:group_hug
June 12, 2007 at 8:15 pm

#724124
1

Heavy

@heavy

Member
My imput here is not really very positive, but forms part of an overall balance.

I have seen the effects of heroin addiction through my work and have to say that it is incredibly difficult to trust people in these circumstances, as in my experience they let you down 99 times out of 100.

I also work with a girl who has recently realised that she is not going to change the drug addict in her life. She is in her mid 30’s and for almost 20 years she has been supporting him. The relationship they once had has long since gone and she is now more of a mother figure caring for him. She has missed out on so much because of this, she has no kids and as she is quite lonely.

As I said, not positive, but someone may be along in a minute with a message of success and hope.

Take care, D.
June 13, 2007 at 10:18 pm

#724113
1

BenNJerry79

@bennjerry79

Member
Thanks for all of the response… i am definitely in a difficult situation, and i plan on changing for the best i guess. Since ive just started a new job, I feel good and dont need to worry about him so much since i’m pretty distracted. but beyond that, i’m going to give him the benefit of the doubt, if he is lying, it will eventually surface, and at that point i will have to make a major decision out of respect for myself, and to not miss out on someone else and my life! but for now, i am going to work on trusting him, and going to narcanon meetings for a support group there. hopefully this will help our relationship and everything else! thanks guys! <3
June 14, 2007 at 3:38 am

#724143
6

Angel

@angel

Moderator
Staff
Good luck to both of you ..:group_hug

I really hope things work out for you :love:

Take care

xx
June 14, 2007 at 8:58 am

#724121
1

Digital-A

@digital-a

Member
good luck 🙂

xx
June 14, 2007 at 11:15 am

#724123
1

tarifa

@tarifa

Member
all either of you can do is try the best you can at the time (seems to me you’ve both been doing that)

Good luck :group_hug
June 14, 2007 at 1:24 pm

#724076
1

Raj

@raj

Member
Good Luck

:group_hug:group_hug:group_hug
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