Forums › Drugs › Drug Addiction & Recovery › My boyfriend is a Heroin Addict…
morning all
ive a tale with a bit of hope thrown in for you
my gf (cleosizzles ) used to be a drug addict .she used heroin and crack .she was introduced to gear by a friend . she was suffering with endometreosis and suffered with pain badly .she had had all the nhs had to offer painkiller wise .nothing worked except the gear she had a habit for 6 years. 3 years on gear and 3 years on methadone .when we met she was still on the methadone .all this time her pain had been masked out by the drugs ,she decided that it was time to quit .she did a rapid detox just over 3 years ago knowing full well that the pain would return .she did it anyway .she did a rapid detox at a hospital . when she came home she was in a mess .twitching, sleepless nights, pain was back rattling ingeneral .luck was on her side this time she had a op in hospital and the pain is now gone she has been clean now just over 3 years
it can be done people (even when you know your gonna suffer with lots of pain (which was here trigger for using gear)
so now shes clean ,no pain ,and living a pretty normal life apart from insomnia which she has had ever since. 3 years of not sleeping is a real good way of making you relapse i would have thought. but she has stayed true and never relapsed .apparently…
THE MAJORITY RELAPSE BECAUSE THEY CANT SLEEP be aware of this .
our doctors are little help here as they wont give her anything remotely addictive ie sleepers because of her drug history
she done real well in the face of pain ,no sleep ,and just general stress of life ..
she deserves a medal for this and putting up with a stroppy, moody, shitbag at times (me ) :you_crazy
love her to bits !!!!!:love::love::love::love::love:
party on raaa
Congratulations to your girlfriend partyon raaaraaaraaa
Keep up the good work :group_hug:group_hug
i read this thread aggess ago, and i remember someone asking weather their boyfriend was still on drugs cos of eye shutting and going to sleep regularly and when going to sleep not remembering or denying. not that ive had any use or past experiance of heroin, and i hope i never will. i watched a program called The Tower, and this guy shot himself up and did exactly what u recalled, then after that he denyed going to sleep in a bush to his best friend
this sounded very similar to what u said( benandjerrys?) umm yeah so i just thought id post it, have u thort of taking him to a drug test
I need ADVICE
So it started in 04 when i met him, he was so cute, awesome, fun, like a little kid, he was 25 and i was 19. I met him one night through mutual friends who warned me about him. i noticed he had beads around his neck, i asked if they meant anything he said he was a recovering addict. Well little naive me was just like oh, so hes recovering, that means hes all better, yay. well i had no idea what heroin was about, i am a recreational pot smoker and never met anyone who was addicted to anything but pot. so we dated, and had a great time. he is a good person inside and wouldnt hurt a soul. well i started to notice that he was acting funny sometimes, like almost falling asleep at random moments, shutting his eyes and opening them for a bit???? i noticed there were red scabs on his shoulders and scars from scratch marks??? itchy much?? his mom told me he was on it again but he didnt want to tell me, i asked him so many times but he swore he wasnt. i broke up with him when i found out, although he said he was going to get help.
but after 2 weeks i couldnt bear to not see him, i fell in love with this guy soo quickly… well he became an asshole and was aweful, i saw him one night out and was just horrible, but i could tell he was high, so i didnt hold it against him, it just really hurt for a while.
i ran into him one night after he got out of rehab, he said he missed me and of course i could not resist. he wanted to hang out so bad, we talked on the phone and made plans, but he just didnt show up, i didnt see him for the whole summer after that and just thought about him all the time.
i ended up calling him on his birthday that september. we started dating again after we talked and he told me he had been clean after going to rehab, he was just afraid to be with me or hurt me again. we dated until i left to leave the country in jan of this year, so this is where i need the help……..
i returned this mid summer, we kept in touch a bit and couldnt wait to see each other. i called him and he seemed dull sounding and wasnt as excited as i was to see him!! this hurt, but whatever, he had some excuse for being tired o well. he hung out and have been for the past couple weeks. NOW like 2 times ive noticed the sleepy thing he does, he looks flushed and his face is sweaty, he blinks slow, in the car the other day he shut his eyes while driving and looked like falling asleep. i yelled at him, he was like what! im just tired. but yeah right, no one does that?? his mom told me this morning that he has the scabs on his arms again, i saw a brand new one yesterday and am totally freaking out again, his sex drive is kind of low, and when we do make it, it takes forevvvverrr for him to get off.. i just got so tired one night so i was like do it yourself, he said he couldnt, he cant turn himself on??
I love him so much, and have loved him since 04, he did the rehab thing, but i know he needs to do it again now or needs some type of mentoring. he doesnt go to any meetings during the week and doesnt take meds. one big problem though is that he lies to everyone, his family, friends, and ME, but not his one drug addict friend!! i just wish he would be truthful with me, i love him unconditionally, i just dont know what to do anymore. i feel as if he hates it that i dont trust him and i keep asking him… theres no way of catching him, hes so clean about it, but i dont want to catch him, i dont know what i want.
i just want to be there for him….
please leave any advice, addicts who had relationships, please let me know how i can make him open up to me, and his problem! i cant tell if hes lying to everyone just so they dont find out, or if hes lying to himself. i just dont think he wants anyone to realize hes failed again. how do i even have this conversation with him when he denies me?
– Lu
u know..i am a heroin addict..make story short..i used to have a bf..who is very patient with me and very supportive. Even when i say i am going to quit and then the next 3 days i took heroin again, he is still patient with me. I myslef at that time REALLY want to quit, but it is just not as easy as normal people would think.
But my bf was very patient and keep on showing mercy and support. The continuous support, and mercy when i take heroin again, the love, and 24 hours companion since we live together, at last, able to make me CLEAN for 1 year in my whole life of addiction!
Now i start taking heroin again since he left me. I feel so hurt then i start taking heroin again.
The feeling side of a heroin user : we really hate it when our gf or bf, the normal people, just know how to scream at us and say we are a liar and stuff like that. It is really hard to explain why we cannot keep our promise. Like for example i promise to quit tomorrow but the next day i take again. Actually i really do want not to take! But this withdrawal symptom is making me crazy. I need people who can be on my side 24 hours. So being with a heroin addict is like nursing.
And you need extreme love,patient,mercy,supportive and keep on building his confidence that he can quit! Instead of breaking up with him and call him a liar or scolding him and stuff like that.
Because i know how he feels. He is practically lonely. He needs normal friends, not addicts. And dont push. Dont push addicts to stop. Instead build his willpower. Addicts have almost NO willpower. They are helpless.
So if u want to be with the guy, if u love him so much, u have to suffer his addiction as well as he is. Dont expect him to be able to go through it alone and be clean byhimself and then be together with u and happily ever after.
You need to try to be like him psychologically. Try to understand why he lies. Why he do all that stuff. And especially, when i try to get off heroin at that time, even when i truly and honestly say in here, i want to, i cannot do it alone. I was totally helpless until i met my x bf.
But u also have to see that some addicts just doesnt want to stop. For me, at that time i want to stop. But i still need someone to be there for me 24 hours a day. But for those who have ZERO will to stop, then forget it.
First it has to come from the heart of the addict himself, then others can help.
Hope this helps
I agree
this sounded very similar to what u said( benandjerrys?) umm yeah so i just thought id post it, have u thort of taking him to a drug test
Why not go the whole hog and contact Jeremy Kyle?:weee:
OK we all have personal choice when it comes to of what we take, right’
Well with “H” it becomes very different very quick’
Body drug, gives reverse reward by only making you feel better when you take it and shit if you do not’
It takes roughly 14 days to kick cold turkey and another possible ten years to get the body to forget the buzz’
Retardent withdrawal is psychologically the reason of why people keep continuing to take physically addictive substances’
We are the sum total of memory’
H an other such like substances imprint memory of the experience into our emotional/physical bodies’
Th only way you can trancsend this effect is with time’
The body and psychi eventually assymulates the experience and it becomes through detachments forgoten’
I found another way of getting there though and it only takes about six weeks’
Ibogaine treatment’
If all else fails because of emotions then Ibogaine can sever these attachments’
The torment of seeking something that can never be attained is the hell of addiction’
You can transecen all of this with a bit of self work and determination through Ibogaine’
Blessings’
Motamba’ Dissumba’ nangona’
When I was 16 I met a handsome studly stud who was funny as all hell and could charm the devil. I instantly fell in love and from the day we met we were together every day. Before we officially started dating, he confessed a few things to me… one of them being he was an addict. Heroin of course. mmm…
Some friends of mine got concerned that he was just using me.. He didn’t have a car and couldn’t really keep a job. I was always driving around and paying for things. I wanted to give him everything i could….
A few months into our relationship ( as I was falling deeper and deeper in love…) He borrowed my car and didn’t bring it back when he was supposed to…. I had to call the cops on my own boyfriend (not something i expected to do at 16…) but it turned out he didn’t bring it back because he was in fact arrested for shoplifting . there i was the next day in my high school US history class when I get a phone call telling me he was in county jail. I’ve never felt so much pain in my entire life.
After he got out of jail he went to rehab for a pretty long time and recently got out. We’re not dating but… we’ve been in contact. I’ve learned that No matter how much you love a person, if that person is an addict, things are going to be rougher than rough. The lack of trust, fear of relapse…. not to mention paranoia about getting in the way of his recovery. At times I’ve just felt like nothing will ever trump his addiction. Even now that he’s been clean for a while… the drug doesn’t control him anymore but the addiction itself always will somehow. It’s like I’ve never been fully confident that he loves me at all… especially not as much as i love him.
Everyone that cares about me is constantly telling me how he’s no good and he’ll never stay clean. It just hurts to know people have such little faith in others… but then I wonder am I the foolish one for having TOO much faith? I can’t have anything BUT faith in him. I’m completely in love with him and want to see him happy. I know he can be so much because he already is. I just feel like this love I have, for an addict, is not only love but like a disease. A curse even.
None…none of this really has to do with anything…i was just reading everyone elses posts and crying….and figured writing SOMETHING myself might make me feel better…:you_crazy
i’m back on it again, havin shit wi me bird so i’m bang at it again….
sorry to hear it mr AHC… pick yourself up and try again ??? :group_hug
Nothing wrong with having faith in others :group_hug
But you have to look after YOU first of all..
You’re the most important person in your life and this don’t sound like a healthy relationship..
But love just don’t go away :hopeless:
You’re to good for this shit AHC :group_hug
And no bird’s worth it
hope it helped,
sometimes its good just to ‘rant’ and get it out
look after yourself :group_hug
Hey there I’m so sorry to hear what you are going through and it’s obvious you really do love this man.
I should start by saying I am a recovering heroin addict currently on a methadone program to stop the painful withdrawals I siffer when I do not take my daily dose of opiates.
I have read alot of the responses to your post and argree that your BF/lover needs to want to do it himself and that in itself is a very big task as heroin addiction & recovery is no walk in the park.
Maybe its time you sat down with him and had a proper talk about the facts and whats happening for him in terms of his addiction and the fact he’s still using.
If he decides he wants to get clean or at least stop using heroin why not look into some sort of MMT (methadone maintenance therapy) or even using suboxone to stop the nasty physical withdrawals he probably suffers when he no longer uses.
I can personally say although drugs like methadone is far from a cure from addiction it allows the user to lead a normal life without the negative effects of heroin useage.
I hope this has helped some if you would like some more information on these medications or even just a talk feel free to drop me a message.
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Forums › Drugs › Drug Addiction & Recovery › My boyfriend is a Heroin Addict…
