Forums › Drugs › Ecstasy & MDMA › My Love for Drugs verses my Boyfriend
Well,
its his choice to have this attitude towards certain substance (I know loads of people who drink excessively – who think illegal ‘drugs’ are awful / people who smoke pot and think alcohol is awful etc), but its also your choice what you put in to your body and how you think about substances / pills
if he doesn’t like your behaviour – he can choose to stop going out with you
if he doesn’t like your behaviour and chooses to stay with you and call you a ‘druggy skank! ‘ …… well fuck him!!
It sounds as if you got together quite young,
and are still quite young and you are ‘finding your feet’ and enjoying yourself –
is this the only thing that is a difficulty in your relationship? or does he try and ‘control’ your behaviour in other ways / situations?
I only ask as I’ve been in 2 relationships where this happened – one I left early enough. the 2nd I stayed too long
If someone is with you – they are choosing to be with you – warts and all, if they are trying to change you (and by the sounds you are having fun not totally crack addicted pimping yourself addiction) thats not a good sign,
have a think about the relationship as a whole – what are you getting out of it, are they worth you changing for? is your behaviour actually harmful to yourself and is he just ‘keeping an eye out for you’? or is he being a dick?
I think (personally) we all change at different stages, and we all like different things at different times,
if you are just having a little fun, and are being sensible with what you put in your own body – not hurting any one (dont have kids that your behaviour is impacting upon etc) then clearly that is your choice and totally up to you –
enjoy
Thanks again Guys n Gals some brilliant point of view n stories.
GL – Ha I think Its funny we r probably closer than we think! Fellow carrot cruncher n now the disagreeing another half anything else we might have in common???? lol
We have grown apart about certain opinions of things but then a lot closer in other ways. We have been through alot of shit so to speak. The thing that hurts me is he considers this a issue wen I have stuck by him no matter what… if he pushes it next time I will tell him u either except who I am n keep ur mouth shut or u know where the door is…. Not missing out on life anymore!
I love the idea of ‘slipping’ one is his drink but sadly he has already seen that comin n told me he wud be very annoyed / angry but tbf what cud he do once he’s buzzin lol … still very tempting tho
See problem is our group of friends is kinda the same, well the friends I have who like to dabble; its hard to arrange anything without him being invited or know whats going to happen. So Its not like I can ‘not tell him.’ We also live together. Tbh I hate doing lines in front of him anyway… any house party I try in get away from him so he doesn’t see or start something.
I might plan a day wen his at work n just get off my face with few mates lol
Get this though…. We have planned (him, me n lots of friends) to go amsterdam in april well he’s on trying SHROOMS!!! Trust I’m freaking happy cause will not have to go through the arguments n I’m gonna love every minute cause I know he will love it! I hope maybe this may help our situation…. but then no chemicals so it probably wnt change him!
To me personally Weed n Shrooms are worse… as they can fuck with your mind if you don’t have a strong way of thinking n yes clog your lungs up!
Thanks again! x
I’m actually a Londoner by birth and single, though would rather stay that way than have to conform to anyone elses idea of what I should be, particularly as I’ve otherwise done well in life by “normal” standards. Though at work and even at places you’d expect more open mindedness like a radio station I volunteer for which plays dance music I do meet a lot of girls who are quite shocked that I once led a fairly hardcore partying lifestyle as I “don’t seem like that type” which gives you an idea how badly those who are party people get judged in this region.
And unfortunately spiking your bf could even make him freak out to the point he grasses on you to cops and you end up sat in the basement of Martlesham on a suspicion of poisioning charge or something equally unpleasant and thats the sort of stuff what gets you both in the Evening Star (like those folk older than me what tried the 50 shades of grey stuff and it all went 100% pearshaped!).
But what is going on still doesn’t even make any sense, especially as out of the EA party heads (or anywhere else to be fair) they never used to judge each other for taking chemical/natural drugs unless it was really nasty shit involving needles or addictive substances which is hard enough. Either people stayed in a group and accepted what everyone else did or they drifted apart into their own drug crowds (saw a bit of a ketamine / MDMA split when I was last partying loads around 2007/08).
:laugh_at: i once was fucked on ekkies and my bf at the time had passed out from alcohol before the new years bells had even gone off, so a disgruntled and munted me thought it would be a good idea to grab the gram bag of magic and pour it all into a drink and try wake him up to drink it.
But beings i was so fucked as soon as i poured it all into the drink i became thirsty and downed the entire glass, i had no memory span :sign0020:
So that kinda backfired on me and i spent the rest of the night tripping some hard core balls!
But i still wouldn’t change it though
Get this though…. We have planned (him, me n lots of friends) to go amsterdam in april well he’s on trying SHROOMS!!! Trust I’m freaking happy cause will not have to go through the arguments n I’m gonna love every minute cause I know he will love it! I hope maybe this may help our situation…. but then no chemicals so it probably wnt change him!
To me personally Weed n Shrooms are worse… as they can fuck with your mind if you don’t have a strong way of thinking n yes clog your lungs up!
Tbh, I love my other Half something rotten but if he ever ‘slipped summat’ into my drink I think I’d kill him, whatever his rationale – so however tempting please never seriously consider this as it is so wrong
And just coz cannabis and shrooms are ‘natural’ they still are chemicals, the are still mind altering, and these days with skunk etc I’d say not very ‘natural’ any more and huge amounts if thc
(Sorry on me phone and didn’t sort the quote out prop)
@MissWannaRollHard 526776 wrote:
Thanks again Guys n Gals some brilliant point of view n stories.
GL – Ha I think Its funny we r probably closer than we think! Fellow carrot cruncher n now the disagreeing another half anything else we might have in common???? lolWe have grown apart about certain opinions of things but then a lot closer in other ways. We have been through alot of shit so to speak. The thing that hurts me is he considers this a issue wen I have stuck by him no matter what… if he pushes it next time I will tell him u either except who I am n keep ur mouth shut or u know where the door is…. Not missing out on life anymore!
I love the idea of ‘slipping’ one is his drink but sadly he has already seen that comin n told me he wud be very annoyed / angry but tbf what cud he do once he’s buzzin lol … still very tempting tho
See problem is our group of friends is kinda the same, well the friends I have who like to dabble; its hard to arrange anything without him being invited or know whats going to happen. So Its not like I can ‘not tell him.’ We also live together. Tbh I hate doing lines in front of him anyway… any house party I try in get away from him so he doesn’t see or start something.
I might plan a day wen his at work n just get off my face with few mates lolGet this though…. We have planned (him, me n lots of friends) to go amsterdam in april well he’s on trying SHROOMS!!! Trust I’m freaking happy cause will not have to go through the arguments n I’m gonna love every minute cause I know he will love it! I hope maybe this may help our situation…. but then no chemicals so it probably wnt change him!
To me personally Weed n Shrooms are worse… as they can fuck with your mind if you don’t have a strong way of thinking n yes clog your lungs up!
Thanks again! x
As far as I’m aware, shrooms have been illegal in the ‘Dam for the last 2 years or so, after a tourist got wrecked and fell in the canal and died. They may have changed the law back again with the last change of government, but couldn’t say for sure.
@MC G-Tek 526818 wrote:
As far as I’m aware, shrooms have been illegal in the ‘Dam for the last 2 years or so, after a tourist got wrecked and fell in the canal and died. They may have changed the law back again with the last change of government, but couldn’t say for sure.
they are illegal though some similar truffels are in a loophole and can be found. There was more than one negative incident, a young female tourist committed suicide by jumping from a big bridge (not the canal, more people drown there from trying to piss into them in winter and falling in), another tourist smashed up his hotel room after a psychotic episode from doing too many mushrooms, and a Frenchman was accused of killing and skinning his pet dog whilst under the influence of mushrooms (though apparently the drug tests were not conclusive).
There was a legal challenge to the law in 2009 but the judge rejected it and said the drugs should stay illegal because of a “bigger picture”
(source for all this info is here http://nl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paddo)
and for all its perceived glamour, Amsterdam is now merely a port town similar to Ipswich with a bit more carefully socially engineered tolerance, and not all the folk there are happy about its image as the “moral cesspool of Europe”. Suffolk Constabulary’s Night Time Economy Unit is based on the Horeca Interventie Team (HIT Squad) of Amsterdam!
he’s going to go amsterdam, do a load of shrooms with u, realise he’s not in the ‘control’… and he’ll freak! especially if he smokes weed throughout. thats where my bet is going. watch this space! :devil_wag
:laugh_at: Mr ‘I’ve got everything under control’ will get a shock of his life
@korno 526876 wrote:
:laugh_at: Mr ‘I’ve got everything under control’ will get a shock of his life
I’m wondering if its more ‘I’ve got my woman under control’ rather than himself,
As from the original post, it appears to me he can do what he wants ( substance wise, as he appears to convince himself the ‘herb’ Is alright) but doesn’t like ‘his’ lady making choices…
Sorry if I have the wrong end of the stick miss wannaroll, but from how you write this is my take in it
@Tank Girl 526879 wrote:
I’m wondering if its more ‘I’ve got my woman under control’ rather than himself,
As from the original post, it appears to me he can do what he wants ( substance wise, as he appears to convince himself the ‘herb’ Is alright) but doesn’t like ‘his’ lady making choices…Sorry if I have the wrong end of the stick miss wannaroll, but from how you write this is my take in it
its now just under 7 years since I moved here from SE England and I’ve noticed the differences. I see a lot of “relationships” like this in this region. Its traditionally been a place where due to the dominance of agriculture, heavy industry and maritime operations and the military strong men had a lot of power – not necessarily a bad or dangerous place at first glance but women, animals etc are only treated well provided they “knew their place” and if they disagreed or assert themselves they are overpowered unless some so-called “nanny state” agency is there to enforce equality. If they become “too high maintenance” they are abandoned.
Every other week in the Archant news there seems to be someone in the Courts for either beating up or murdering their partner or anyone else they thought they could overpower and even long prison sentences does not deter them (mind you back in the day even hanging and binding the court book in the murderers skin did not reduce the crime rate!)
Recently this bloke drop kicked his terrier into the air in the middle of Ipswich with a bobby watching the other side of the road because it dared to disobey him. Of course he was arrested and his dog confiscated, I think he did serve prison time and was banned from keeping animals and the dog has been rehomed but he seemed completely unrepentant.
The worst part of it is if you remove these crimes from the equation the area is virtually paradise compared to London, Manchester, Leeds or any other big city.
To be fair the authorities do a bloody good job of trying to keep people behaving nicely to one another especially since 2006 when the sex workers got murdered and Zest shot up but it is at the expense of “Amsterdam” style tolerant nightlife, because if they went towards that the body count would increase yet again hence why so many young people go over there.
Also the crime / violence / incident rate is NL is actually the same as the UK… (after correction for the difference in population) which isn’t that much of a gain and is causing the natives to question the amount of taxes paid for “gedoogbeleid” and that it does involve giving into criminals. What is important to remember is that putting aside language and culture there is only a few hundred km of water between Ipswich, Felixstowe and Amsterdam and because of this all the public authorities work together.
So if someone in a group takes shrooms in Amsterdam and freaks out and damages something or someone local all of you could get arrested, (be aware or “let op” that cultural attitudes are different and its is not the free for all place folk think) and you will be reported in both 112nederland.nl and archant. And this site might even get quoted too. To be fair the Dutchies will not report names as its against their privacy law, but Archant might – they probably will at least say what ages and villages you are all from and leave the people to put together the jigsaw pieces. Their view will be it is right to have you judged by media to deter others.
Also you can be repeatedly bailed to attend Police Stations or Court in the Netherlands at your own expense and if you don’t Suffolk Constabulary might even pick you up and take you there on European Arrest Warrant. This sort of thing has happened to friends who have done silly things overseas and perhaps because of language barriers or a misplaced feeling of English superiority think that “nothing more will come of it”
Seems like a pretty big issue to disagree on, you either need to
a) get him on the drugs, many people who are well against it change their mind when they try it and realise they’re not going to die
b) go your life without experimenting
c) ditch him
I’d go with a) or c) myself
@know_hope 525394 wrote:
hey
i had a quite similar situation to you; gf for 5 years and one common cause of an argument was drugs and that lifestyle although she didnt mind parties or dance music. she also smoked weed, but was very much against using chemical drugs… with her i could feel she was genuinely worried and she didnt see weed as 100% safe. it never made a difference how i would rationalise my drug use to her. i tried to find perspectives to show her but it never changed anything. i also have a few friends that happily smoke weed but wouldn’t consider taking anything else. the weird thing i found was if they ever ate weed cakes this was not too far away from a trip but they’d never take a trip drug. but i guess this is also about level of interest. for some, if they maybe don’t have an accurate perception they’re not too bothered because they are happy how they are and aren’t tempted by exploring.
people often seem to have strong views when it comes to drugs. maybe this is due to all the media, parental and school brainwashing of the severity of taking drugs and have tried to force our opinions. the severity of the law reflects this and obviously drugs have a long history of being outcast in the civilised world (but why? it costs so much £, what do they gain from it?… sorry off topic). i think this often makes a strong divide. you either accept the obvious facts that you’ve been taught; that there is nothing good about drugs and they are harmful. or, you become in direct opposition to this and often quite passionately due to the forceful nature of those that oppose it; you take drugs and have a positive experience and maybe feel people should know about it and be free to make their own choices. but in hopping over such a line, it may be difficult for your bf to accept… even if you can see smoking weed almost everyday is probably worse than taking mdma once on occasion, he may feel equally strong that this is not the case because he has the righteous weight of society behind him, and people in this state of mind may never listen… unless they have a moment of humility… somehow…
going back to my past relationship, this drug topic was one of a few things that showed we had a different way we’d like to live and a different outlook on life. in hindsight, although we had quite a few nice similarities, it was obvious that it would eventually end or we’d both be living on and on with some constant tension.
so i’m one that doesn’t really believe in the phrase ‘opposites attract.’ i think the more similarities you have with someone the better. another difference you 2 seem to have is that you have a bit more of a live and let live attitude, and he is quite comfortable to openly condemn someone he supposedly cares about without too much consideration of how it makes you feel.
but i dont know your bf, all i have is what you say and if you’ve been with him so long from a teenager, he must be doing something right…
in my experience i felt 5 years was an amount of time that i should make more allowances and try to keep it going. the thought of throwing it all away and knowing that would likely mean the closest person to me would likely disappear out of my life was hard to consider… but in retrospect as time passed it was just like a burden getting bigger and bigger until finally i realised it didnt work and we had no future because i was miserable too often. and when we finally split permanently it was hard and it did feel like letting go of part of my soul for a while, and actually it is still sad to think about these things…
but! i got my life back and now im with a girl that i met at a squat party and we are much more compatible and things on the inside are simple and nice and i dont regret the split at all.
so anyhow, this is just my story, it doesn’t mean it is the same in yours at all. when you’re in the teenage to early 20’s and older sometimes; things are changing, you’re mind is adapting and you may go in different life directions until you feel comfortably you and if you have a partner during this time they will need to adapt to these changes also if you are to be happy together. obviously compromise is necessary at times, but stubbornness especially if it is accompanied with an overbearing/contemptuous attitude can be quite damaging, i have found.
hope it works out for you 🙂
that was quite long, lol
So funny, its almost identical to my story.
I was 25, had been with my mrs for 4 years (engaged too) and in 2 of those had got back into raving and hitting mandy, k etc. I was always a massive smash head before I met her just calmed down as she wasn’t on that tip. Can’t change a person and live a lie though…. I met this dread locked girl at a dubstep rave in 2009, ended up meeting her and become best friends with benefits, splitting from my “normal” girfriend to this little raver girl……………also around the time I started messing with loads of other drugs.. and now were engaged to be married! We love getting smashed together, she’s 100% on my level and we connect in a way I never thought possible… and love getting in holes together lol!! but we’re both professional, hold down decent careers, have a lovely home, 2 cats …………..and its awesome 🙂
moral of the story……. girl you are both probably not right for each other and 23 is a good age to realise this and move on. To be fair, you’ll end up living a lie and I hate lieing to my x all the time about it… she didn’t get the fact it was not that bad and controllable. Also I could never have come down cuddles with her like I do my wifey, hated that!
peace x
@MissWannaRollHard 526776 wrote:
Get this though…. We have planned (him, me n lots of friends) to go amsterdam in april well he’s on trying SHROOMS!!! Trust I’m freaking happy cause will not have to go through the arguments n I’m gonna love every minute cause I know he will love it! I hope maybe this may help our situation…. but then no chemicals so it probably wnt change him!
To me personally Weed n Shrooms are worse… as they can fuck with your mind if you don’t have a strong way of thinking n yes clog your lungs up!
Thanks again! x
Only last weekend read a news article “toerist het raam uit” (tourist out the window) and some unfortunate chap in a group of tourists last December actually did jump/fall out their flat window (3 floors up) in Amsterdam after taking too many drugs, and a girl who was with him also sustained some injuries from broken glass. As they say in Holland, “let op” (be careful).
(it is also easy to fall out of windows in Holland (and other similar Northern European countries) simply because they are often made big to let in natural light)
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Forums › Drugs › Ecstasy & MDMA › My Love for Drugs verses my Boyfriend
