My name is Chrispydelic and I am an alcoholic.

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My name is Chrispydelic and I am an alcoholic.

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May 15, 2014 at 7:49 am

#815164
1

Chrispydelic

@chrispydelic

Participant
Cheers mate. Feel like crap again today after last night’s sesh. Sweating bigtime which doesn’t look good at work in an office wearing a shirt!

I just dunno how I’m gonna do it. I’ve been regularly doing one substance or another since I was about 14 then it got worse in 2005 (that’s when all the trouble started). I try to imagine how it would feel to be normal and it doesn’t seems good.
May 15, 2014 at 9:21 am

#815203
1

The Psyentist

@the-psyentist

Member
@DaftFader 561127 wrote:

and have another crack. <3

Yeah, alcohol is bad but crack won’t help.
May 15, 2014 at 9:29 am

#815204
1

The Psyentist

@the-psyentist

Member
@Chrispydelic 561142 wrote:

Cheers mate. Feel like crap again today after last night’s sesh. Sweating bigtime which doesn’t look good at work in an office wearing a shirt!

I just dunno how I’m gonna do it. I’ve been regularly doing one substance or another since I was about 14 then it got worse in 2005 (that’s when all the trouble started). I try to imagine how it would feel to be normal and it doesn’t seems good.

I know what you mean mate. I’ve had addictions and come out the other side but never managed to remain clean afterwards; I just switch to another substance. For 8 years now this has been my cycle. If it’s not weed, it’s mdma, if it’s not mdma it’s benzos. I find to stop taking something quite easy, but remaining sober is the challenge. I suppose you could debate whether or not they were ever true addictions, but I am addicted to intoxication in general. I can’t cope with society and sobriety for more than a few days. I soon start feeling overwhelmed; and since society isn’t going away I make sobriety disappear. Such an unhealthy lifestyle but probably genuinely what prevents me from harming others.
May 15, 2014 at 12:50 pm

#815165
1

Chrispydelic

@chrispydelic

Participant
@The Psyentist 561155 wrote:

I know what you mean mate. I’ve had addictions and come out the other side but never managed to remain clean afterwards; I just switch to another substance. For 8 years now this has been my cycle. If it’s not weed, it’s mdma, if it’s not mdma it’s benzos. I find to stop taking something quite easy, but remaining sober is the challenge. I suppose you could debate whether or not they were ever true addictions, but I am addicted to intoxication in general. I can’t cope with society and sobriety for more than a few days. I soon start feeling overwhelmed; and since society isn’t going away I make sobriety disappear. Such an unhealthy lifestyle but probably genuinely what prevents me from harming others.

That is exactly what it is like for me. If my poor dear Ma (Gawd bless her) weren’t around I would probably go on a massive rampage or kill myself.
May 15, 2014 at 2:31 pm

#815109
[deleted]

@[deleted]

Guest
Yeah I’m the same, Hevey ganja smoker from 13/14 till about 18/19 then onto the booze with a varing amount of random other drugs along the way. It’s possible to get clean, I know for a fact you can spend 95% of your time sober as that’s what I’m currently doing. It’s not the being sober bit that’s hard, it’s the transition. Staying compleatly sober can be hard, but being sober most of the time isn’t once you’ve got over the heardle of getting used to being normal all the time.

keep trying to quit, and if you find you’re going back again every time … try to lengthen the times you’re sober each time you quit. Idealy you should just quit compleatly from the word go forever, but it’s rarely that simple.
May 15, 2014 at 8:23 pm

#815166
1

Chrispydelic

@chrispydelic

Participant
Good reason to not do that again. Have felt well shit all day!

Tailing down again!

Have taken up smoking during evenings to try to ease the stress a bit!
May 16, 2014 at 7:11 am

#815167
1

Chrispydelic

@chrispydelic

Participant
Back on track again only had half a bottle of cider last night. No sweats this morning. Feel better than yesterday and it’s Friday.

Also I just got a sweet metal detector to get me outside doing something. And it was free!
May 17, 2014 at 2:10 pm

#815110
[deleted]

@[deleted]

Guest
Good work mate … go find some nuggets! 😀
May 17, 2014 at 6:01 pm

#815206
1

Deez

@deez

Member
Trust mate, addictions wouldn’t be difficult to beat if it was easy. While I only have experience with meph I know you will 99% of the time never kick your habit the first time. Stay strong brother
May 17, 2014 at 7:39 pm

#815168
1

Chrispydelic

@chrispydelic

Participant
Well, I started again properly last night. I stayed up until the normal time I would get up for work. Just watching films, TV shows and cartoons.

Every time I started to get the sweats I would wait it out for as long as possible and then have the equivalent of just under a quarter of a pint of cider and the cider itself was of a much lower percentage.

I got about 3 hours “sleep” around 09:00 and have stayed up all day sweating and having mild shakes and hallucinations I have thrown up a few times and felt really dizzy but just tried to take my mind of it. I have one bottle of hobgoblin by my bed and my house mate had promised me a couple of xanax. I also have two more bottles of hobgoblin but it is somewhere that would be awkward to get to in the middle of the night. It is purely there for emergencies.

The aim tonight is to make this one bottle of hobgoblin last me for tonight. And go to sleep as soon as I feel tired. If the very worst comes to the worst and I go full turkey I can (with some difficulty) retrieve the emergency booze.

Hopefully if I can make this. I can go to bed tomorrow for work Monday having drunk no booze at all (this is the theory).
May 17, 2014 at 7:40 pm

#815169
1

Chrispydelic

@chrispydelic

Participant
Let’s see how it goes!
May 18, 2014 at 4:26 am

#815111
[deleted]

@[deleted]

Guest
good luck bro!
May 18, 2014 at 12:28 pm

#815170
1

Chrispydelic

@chrispydelic

Participant
I think I did it.

I had one beer last night I drank most of it throughout the night and then downed the remainder with some benzos just before I went to sleep. I had the sweats badly all night but went to sleep OK.

Woke up a couple of times where I would usually medicate but swigged on strawberry milkshake instead and went back to sleep. Only just woken up. No appetite and I feel a bit weird but no shakes and no sweats! Gonna have a shower in a minute.

I’ll keep you posted throughout the day.
May 18, 2014 at 1:31 pm

#815112
[deleted]

@[deleted]

Guest
Keep it up man, I’ve found in the past when I want a drink, if drinking something else non alcoholic can help the cravings as it goes. I forgot about that trick.
May 18, 2014 at 6:43 pm

#815171
1

Chrispydelic

@chrispydelic

Participant
Today hasn’t gone too bad but not perfectly.

Having had a decent night’s sleep I awoke to an empty house. Didn’t want to go out because I still felt a little discombobulated. Paced a lot, smoked a lot of fags, ate a tonne of food (which is probably good cos I haven’t kept most of it down recently. Sweated a lot but mainly due to the searing heat. And felt completely out of sorts.

I had one beer today, which I had stashed in case of emergencies tonight. And I have drunk about 6 gallons of water. Feel really tired but wanna try to stay up until a reasonable hour so I don’t wake up 4 or 5 hours before work.

Little steps!
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