@Chrispydelic 553580 wrote:
Aaaargh, things are not going so well now. I still don’t really know anyone here (socially that is) except my boss and I can’t hang around with him all the time.
When the conditions are good for buggying or boarding, that keeps me occupied and away from bad thoughts but that is like 2-4 times a week if I’m lucky. I go round the bosses house for a Chinese (meal) every Friday night, which means I can’t get totally pissed (but I do bring a couple of bottles of strong ale round with me).
Other than that I drink at least 2 litres of strong cider a night (often more) and often accompanied by benzos (which I’m rapidly running out of and can no longer obtain).
I tried to have some stuff mailed to me but it seems to have somehow gone pear shaped (so now I’m down by over a hundred pounds!).
All in all I’m starting to feel like I was better off back in Wycombe! :yakk:
Stay strong mate. Hope it wasn’t K you were trying to have sent to you. That will reset the whole process. I actually really envy your position right now. I’m not hooked on any particular drug but I’m addicted to intoxication. I really struggle to go 48 hours without getting twitchy for something. Cannabis is one of my preferred substances and equally as available if not more so than alcohol so that is what I often turn to. Although benzos and ecstasy fit the bill nicely too, and more recently DMT. I know this lifestyle is slowly but surely fucking me up but with it being all I know and being surrounded by it as you were the chain is near impossible to break. If I had the opportunity to move away from it all and start a new, especially doing a job as cool sounding as yours I’d jump at it.
I know at the moment it may not have felt worth it but were you really happier slowly rotting away your face and bladder, or was it just more comfortable? There are times in life when we have to go beyond our comfort zone in order to move forward and progress with our lives.
