I was sitting in a park thinking ‘why does a Frisbee appear larger the closer it gets?’ and then it hit me.
I quit my job at the helium gas factory. I didn’t like being spoken to in that voice.
[h=2]There’s a man in my neighborhood who is in the Guinness Book of Records for having forty three concussions; he lives very close actually, just a stone’s throw away…[/h]
I told my friend that she drew her eyebrows on too high.
She looked surprised.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
By searching for Fresh Prints.
The Dalai Lama walks into an ice cream shop. He asks the server, “can you make me one with everything?”
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta
Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up?” – “Because it was two tired
Does an earl who gets an OBE become an earlobe?
Sometimes I wonder what my grandfather would think of what I do. He spent his whole life in the kebab business, was buried with all his equipment. Probably turning in his grave.
So I phoned up the spiritual leader of Tibet, he sent me a large goat with a long neck. Turns out I phoned dial a lama.
