Only in America:
(Begun as a fictional list, but the real “Only in Americas” are funnier, or at least stranger)
Drive-through banks, pharmacies, and liquor stores.
Parking lots (car parks) larger than the buildings they serve.
Sugar-frosted honey-coated deep-fat-fried cheese sticks – and a Diet Coke.
Bumper stickers that say “Honk if you hate noise pollution”.
Creationists who insist that the pharmaceutical drugs they use first be tested on monkeys and chimps.
Football in which the ball is carried or propelled much more by hand than by foot.
People who argue that human life is so sacred that abortion justifies capital punishment.
A country where the “Lower Forty-eight” states are north of Hawaii, and where the “Continental U.S” doesn’t include Alaska, which is clearly on the same continent.
A country where everyone has time to mow their three-acre lawn each week, but no one has time to cook their own food.
People who value equality so much that they think discrimination should be used to create it.
Academic institutions known more for their athletes than their scholars.
A country where the Big Ten has eleven schools, and a fifth is four fifths of a quart.
A country where “evil-doer” and “do-gooder” are both negative characterizations.
A country that claims to hate lawyers, and that elects only lawyers to public office.
Prices of gasoline (petrol) prices that are a fraction of the price of drinking water – and people complaining about the price of gasoline.
A State Department that has nothing to do with the states.
“In God We Trust” written on every piece of money of a nation that alleges to separate church and state.
A country where only the well-to-do ride bicycles.
One of the world’s most technologically advanced countries, with the most antiquated system of weights and measures.
“The Land of the Free” with the world’s second highest incarceration rate.
A principled refusal to ratify the 1989 United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child. (Somalia is the only other nation with the same principles.)
Not my list
