Forums › Life › Politics, Media & Current Events › schnews.co.uk – TALIBANISH
TALIBANISH
Friday 18th June 2004
Due to a lack of news getting through to that far corner of the earth-Avon and Somerset, the police force in their wisdom have failed to react to hordes of testerone up males pouring out on to the streets of every major town beating each other to death and drowning each other in puke. They have also not heard of the carnage, torture of innocent people, mutilation of children and the on going mass slaughter of civilians that is being carried out throughout the world by our government in a misguided notion of ‘freedom’.
At least someone in this country is getting real, all these paranoid MPs harping on about the threat of terrorism, gun crimes and inner city violence; bloody ‘lefties’ scaremongering over racial attacks, Islamaphobia and deaths in police custody, when the real threat to our freedom and livelihood is carried out according to Superintendent Adrian Coombs of the Avon and Somerset police, by people dancing – bastards! There also seems a worry that these ‘dancy’ people, who apparently stay up all night in their drug crazed stupors, are secretly plotting the overthrow of our democratically rejected government and have more friends that the police themselves. Old Coombsy baby, not to be outdone who stresses that he can dance with the best of them – it’s just that no one has asked him – believes that previous laws which stated that there needed to be at least a hundred people gathered in an open space for the old ‘bacon troupe’ to take action, has now been changed to just twenty, even if that’s inside a dodgy old warehouse. This is good news for all those sad people out there who have birthday parties and less than twenty people turn up. ‘It’s the law mate, I would have invited more, you know how it is?’
Yet, this is only half of it. Old Superintendent Adrian Coombs, which could be abbreviated as ‘SAC’ if only, has had a rethink, and thought that those sad people with less than twenty friends may also be, not only smiling in the face of the law, but actually having the audacity to have a good time. And Public Assembly is no longer 20 people, but can be comprised of just two people! Two people! What kind of party’s that! Maybe the sought Coombsy would invite his mates too. ‘Yeah, you know, I would come, it’s just that I’ve got to watch some paint dry-sorry!’ And of course it would be against the law. The next policeman’s Ball, lets all turn up and arrest the bastards.
The force is believed to be one of the first in the country to adopt the new legislation under the Anti-Social Behaviour Act 2003 making Avon and Somerset a non smiling zone. This is England’s answer to China’s ‘One Child Policy’ the ‘One Mate Policy’ of Somerset, you are only allowed another mate under exceptional circumstances, and the circumstances are, you have to reek of bacon. Operational planning head, (if only the party scene had one of them) Super Coombsy, stated,
“In the past we’ve had a situation where officers realised they could do little until a rave had been going on for some time, meaning serious disruption to both local people and officers.”
See what you are doing out there, hiding in your derelict warehouses in the midst of some rundown industrial estate, you are forcing the Somerset police, who are busily sorting out serious crime in their tea rooms, to come out in the middle of the night when all ‘decent’ taxpaying types are in bed, and with sirens blaring, turn the devil worshipper’s music off and make those drug induced, drunk individuals drive home. This is about on par with throwing thousands of testeroned up males onto the street at the same time. It is no wonder that these same people came up with the idea of invading Iraq to stop uprisings being put down by force and innocent people being tortured. Can you see a pattern developing here?
Lucky for us the Somerset police will now be able to stop those past outrageous incidents of loved up individuals dancing in fields and smiling away in dusty old empty warehouses. Or will they? Lets face it we’ve all been here before, but be aware those party putter oners as this new legislation applies inside as well and anyone who is moved on faces arrest if they try to start up another gathering within 24 hours. So to recap, you can only have a party if you are alone, not playing music, and you are not inside or outside-no problem!
* Despite the best efforts of the authorities, free parties still happen up and down the country every week. Go to http://www.partyvibe.com/freeparties.htm for a list of phone numbers and websites.
“So to recap, you can only have a party if you are alone, not playing music, and you are not inside or outside-no problem!”
let’s face it… nothing will change; people will listen to music, gather, have fun, be themselves, trust the government, believe the press, shop, consume, destroy
whatever next?
there is no clear way to demonstrate or prove that this law is wrong, although it clearly is off.
we have to prove ourselves
true – and its the hearts and minds of wider society we need to reach out to
who do you think is the bigger enemy at the party frontline…
the cops in uniform; or the middle aged couple who dialed 999 in and called them in the first place?
also the way people act on the entire urban music scene (including commercial clubs) affects the way we are perceived. In Avsom[1] area the party scene has got linked in (by cops and outsiders) with the crack cocaine networks, mostly because they can’t tell underground dance music apart from UK garage (that scene does unlicensed parties as well – usually the ones where people get shot at!)
most of the time parties only get turned over if the locals complain. If the cops were really using all the intelligence they could get their hands on, they could prevent all the events from happening (I think they deliberately do not do this as depriving people of an outlet to release their energy could lead to them doing worse stuff in the streets and villages!)
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[1] most police forces have an “abbreviated” name used on their comms networks, official documents and often the cops’ sports teams. Ironically, Avon and Somersets name is pronounced in the same way “Av some!”
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Forums › Life › Politics, Media & Current Events › schnews.co.uk – TALIBANISH
