Party Vibe

All over the shop.

@samtherocker123 592323 wrote:

I gotcha, I’ll message u a link bro.

Ha I’m good thanks bro 😉

Pretty grim, but better than yesterday. And benzo free

I think this idea is absolutely incredible and I applaud you all the way from Washington State! I personally suffer from anxiety, depression, and PTSD. I wasn’t formally diagnosed until I was 15 years old, and by then, I had already built walls, bad habits, and found ways to cope on my own. I was an avid participant in drugs and alcohol and had severe anger/anxiety problems. I rarely shared my feelings with others & lived in a constant fog that inhibited my vision and I was forever lost. A few years later, a traumatic incident occurred that spiraled my anxiety, depression & most of all, PTSD out of control. I never learned to deal with my mental illness’, I was given medication and sent on my way. Shortly after that, I gave up & began to self destruct. I chose to turn to drugs and battled an addiction to Heroin & Meth for almost a year. I went to rehab and learned to face my problems head on. I learned that the reason I used so heavily was to mask the symptoms of my mental illnesses. I truly believe that if I was previously educated on my illnesses, I would have never struggled with addiction. Not having any knowledge of why you act, feel, or do the things you do is fucking scary. No person, especially a child/young adult should have to experience this. We as citizens have the right to know what is wrong with our body and how to monitor, deal & control it; not just given medication, that only treats half the problem? Ugh!!

PS. Being a 2nd generation mixed female, with a non-english speaking mother in modern America contributed heavily to the lost/confused feeling growing up. Lololol

I think this thread is a great idea! Everyone needs help/support/a place to vent or talk.

Today I am feeling fantastic! Sadly this isn’t always the case.

I suffer severly with Bi-Polar disorder.

This impacts on every facet of my life, often without me even realising.

The high periods are fantastic in many ways, it’s like being on Exctasy without having taken anything. I’m lively, productive, creative, fun, have endless energy, I’m care-free and have a lot of fun. Everything feels wonderful and amazing, you feel more alive than ever.
Many people fail to see the high points as you being seriously unwell mentally, I understand why, you seem exctatic, full of energy, creative and productive. However, the downside to the highs are the distorted reality you find yourself in, unaware at the time that anything is wrong, you feel invincible, when obviously you aren’t. Lack of sleep and food combined with excessive partying defintley takes it’s toll on the body afterwards. Relentless obssesiveness on one small event/project/essay/interest becomes unhealthy. The care-free attitude often becomes extreme resulting in careless wantonness, living each moment as if it were you’re last is good sometimes but all the time leads you to ignorance, often lands you in huge debt because money is valueless to you at that time, and you can even unknowingly become a danger to yourself and others. Delusions of grandeur are not uncommon, neither is sexual promiscurity, drug and alcohol abuse along with anti-social behaviour.

The low points people generally have an easier time in understanding as most people expierence depression at some point in their lives, what many do not realise however is that unlike feeling depressed because something bad has happened to you, Bi-Polar depression is the type that bears no relation to external events in your life. It is induced and maintained by a chemical imbalance in the brain, meaning you can feel suicidal with absolutely no idea of why at any moment regardless of any other factors in your life that are positive or negative. Again as with the highs it can distort your reality, making you believe things that aren’t true though you’re certain they are at that time. The way you interpret the world around you changes causing paranoia, stress, anxiety and the way you respond can be greatly altered from your normal response. You become tired and lethargic all the time for no reason, thoughts become increasingly difficult to process and your brain literally begins a process of shutting down until even the most basic of day to day activities become unmanagable.

Even with medication my condition persists, often intensly, I am often unaware of my illness because it changes my thoughts to the extent that I believe that the ‘me’ at the moment is the ‘me’ always and this makes it harder to recognise and be more aware of how unwell I am.
However, everyday I’m learning, becoming more aware of how it affects me and the things I can do to help to look after myself better and minimise the damage caused by it. Also, though I find it hard to deal with my illness, I find I can better understand and help others in a similar situation. If anyone wants advice or to talk about mental health concerns, I’m not an expert but I understand and will endeavour to help best that I can.

I am actually very confused, I have some things going on in my head that I can’t quite figure out. But it is all I can think about so it driving me nuts!!

Sorry to hear that mate but these things don’t get better overnight. Good to see you at least talking about it though.

Hospital is a much better place to relax and start the process but yeah it sucks when you leave and have to deal with things on your own.