some motoring quotes

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September 21, 2012 at 9:14 pm

#699244
6

General Lighting

@general-lighting

Moderator
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So I can prepare for my driving tests, I thought I should also get some edumacation about how cars worked as well as traffic laws etc relating to them. and have been looking for info, and unearthed “gems” like this..

UK drivers on defective rear lights
How about the guy I pulled up alongside at some lights just recently and said to him, “Do you know you have no rear lights at all, no brakes lights at all; oh and your rear fog is on”
He said “thats why I’ve got my fog light on.”

redneck chap buys a pickup truck from his his neighbour in US/Canada (unlike Europe they don’t have separate automatic/manual licenses!)

A friend of mine relates the sad story of selling his truck to his neighbour. The guy was a few marbles shy of a gallon. He not only screwed up, he related the stories as if the world were at fault, not him.

First, he spent over half an hour on the phone with some helpful guy at the local transmission shop trying to ensure his transmission fluid was not low, since someone told him that could be what caused his vehicle to be sluggish. In the days before cordless phones he was back and forth from the phone to the truck, trying to find the fluid dipstick based on the guy’s description of where it should be. Finally he says”could it be my clutch slipping instead?”

Long pause on the other end… “You have a clutch??? It’s not automatic?”

So he complained to my friend that the clutch was bad. They took it to the local Canadian Tire who had replaced the clutch a month before he sold the truck. The tech said “Sorry, we’re not going to honour the warranty. The clutch has been abused. You must have been riding it hard.” He took them to the hoist and showed them the shaft coming out of the clutch, which was blue for about 6 inches.

“Yes,” said the neighbour. “I found it was getting harder to get started from the light in 3rd gear.”

yahoo Q&A about handbrake at traffic lights:
Q: Why is that drivers don’t use their hand brake at traffic lights.?
A: Because they’re tossers. :laugh_at:

a common bit of advice about using the roads in England (either in a car or when cycling) is “assume everyone is an idiot and trying to crash into you”. I can understand why…
September 21, 2012 at 9:28 pm

#958104
1

MC G-Tek

@mc-g-tek

Member
Ha ha, funny stories man. Reminds me of something a mechanic friend of mine told me a few months back: A woman went to his garage saying that there was something up with the fuel system, when he asked why she thought this, the woman explained that she’d had the car from new (5 or 6 years) and that recently she’d noticed that £20 worth of fuel didn’t get her anywhere near as far as it did when she first bought the car. No amount of explaining by my friend that the rising cost of fuel meant that she got a hell of a lot less for her money would suffice, she just couldn’t comprehend it, what a fool!
October 10, 2012 at 10:49 pm

#958103
1

Mezz

@mezz

Member
@MC G-Tek 496507 wrote:

Ha ha, funny stories man. Reminds me of something a mechanic friend of mine told me a few months back: A woman went to his garage saying that there was something up with the fuel system, when he asked why she thought this, the woman explained that she’d had the car from new (5 or 6 years) and that recently she’d noticed that £20 worth of fuel didn’t get her anywhere near as far as it did when she first bought the car. No amount of explaining by my friend that the rising cost of fuel meant that she got a hell of a lot less for her money would suffice, she just couldn’t comprehend it, what a fool!

lolz

On the handbrake thing, the highway code you should use it whenever you stop, the reason is if someone rear ends you with your hand break on you are less likely to go into the back of the person in front of you……….. of you course you have to wonder is this best for you ? Surely you are better spreading an impact than taking it all yourself so is this use of the handbrake really for the insurance companies ?
October 11, 2012 at 7:03 pm

#958096
6

General Lighting

@general-lighting

Moderator
Staff
Another reason my instructor gave was that keeping the footbrake depressed dazzles motorists behind (especially at night and with LED brake lights). That seems perfectly rational advice, I use exactly the same LEDs now used in brake lights as indicator lamps in my home studio for various purposes. A single one is really bright even at low current and they use whole clusters of them in car lights. I’m sure on the component datasheet there is a warning about the strong light level and not to stare directly into it (in cars there is a diffuser).

curiously the LEDs have been out of stock for months from my usual supplier (slightly annoying as I was planning to add them to the table at the community radio station for cue lights) so the Chinese must have bought them all up to build into the assemblies for new car brake lights…
October 11, 2012 at 7:13 pm

#958100
1

Pat McDonald

@pat-mcdonald

Participant
This one made me chuckle;-

COP: Is this your vehicle sir?

CAR THIEF: Well, temporarily…
October 11, 2012 at 10:11 pm

#958098
1

know_hope

@know_hope

Member
driving is epically restrained in england compared to other parts… i used to get back and just find the driving to be so robotic and patient… wen i’d come back from israel the roads at home seem enormous and there’s this kinda peace in your head, and at first its hard to workout where this peace is coming from, but then u might hear some birds churping and u realise ‘no car horns!’
October 12, 2012 at 3:44 am

#958097
1

barrettone

@barrettone

Member
Driving in Sao Paulo was a f***ing nightmare. Traffic everywhere and when there isn’t, you can assume someone’s going to smash into you.
October 12, 2012 at 11:24 am

#958101
1

Pat McDonald

@pat-mcdonald

Participant
@know_hope 499771 wrote:

driving is epically restrained in england compared to other parts… i used to get back and just find the driving to be so robotic and patient… wen i’d come back from israel the roads at home seem enormous and there’s this kinda peace in your head, and at first its hard to workout where this peace is coming from, but then u might hear some birds churping and u realise ‘no car horns!’

Perhaps the Israeli authorities might consider a new law so that car horn switches don’t turn the horn on. They turn them off? Likewise Brazil…
October 12, 2012 at 1:02 pm

#958099
1

know_hope

@know_hope

Member
without car horns there will be a din of people shouting ‘yalla yalla… balagan!’
October 13, 2012 at 3:01 am

#958102
1

Pat McDonald

@pat-mcdonald

Participant
Perhaps Israelis suffer from genetic deafness? Actually I don’t think it’s just them, my neighbours are noisy.

I’ve tried being subtle and posting sales adverts for deaf aids through their door but I don’t think they can take a hint unless I use a megaphone.
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