The ’90s traveller party crew hopes that the event, in a leafy Buckinghamshire cul-de-sac to be confirmed on the day, will attract around 30,000 well-wishers from around Europe, mostly arriving in large rusty Bedford trucks with no tax or MOT, for around a week of relentless, sweaty celebration.
Spiral Tribe spokeshuman Winnit said: “There will be all the classic street party ingredients, like bunting and lukewarm orange squash, but with the addition of facial tattoos, recreational horse tranquilisers and a sound system the size of Beaconsfield.
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“Also there may be a few dozen roaming, semi-feral brindle dogs called Spike.”
He added: “If anyone has a problem with any of this, they clearly hate Britain, the Queen and the concept of marriage.”
Drug dealer Bill McKay said: “Possibly there may also be pills stamped with the Union Jack. What better way to reclaim the flag from the far right?
“Union Jack users will experience an intense rush of national pride that plateaus out into a warm sensation of patriotism lasting up to 12 hours at a time.
“Make sure you drink plenty of tea to avoid dehydration.”
Householder Nikki Ellis said: “Given that royal wedding fun is compulsory, what I like about this idea is that it will be too loud to hear my neighbour’s excruciating small talk.
“That alone is worth getting burgled for.”
