Copyright of and with grateful thanks to: Fierce J. Munter
*DO NOT READ IF THE WHOLE MUNTING THING BORES YOU*
(My apologies to those so affected) *grin* *gurn* 🙂
Munt (n.)
A soiree or party set up with express purpose of providing a safe and secure haven for munting. See munt-fest, Munt-a-rama.
Munter (n.)
a) someone who gets munted (vb.) (intoxicated) on a reasonably regularly basis, often, though not exclusively, to a soundtrack of music ‘characterized by repetitive beats’ (Intoxicants can include ‘dirty’, ‘illegal’ and ‘dangerous’ drugs, however, me and my chums like nothing better than to get munted on government approved intoxicants! Apparently, everyone’s doing it!).
Sources close to this reporter have heard rumours of munters who munt without drugs of any form. Apparently, the ‘aliens’ channel intergalactic psychoactive space jism through a void in the cerebral cortex leading to the hapful participants getting automunted. Either that, or via the sphincter. But the less said about that the better.
b) Someone who lives a decadent ‘alternative’ lifestyle to, what some more conservative observers would call, excess. As such, some may use it as a negative term. However, to most ‘munters’ encountered in the field, it’s a term that can range from playful fun-poking to endearment and even respect (I know, it’s very worrying! Sad even.).
Recently, we have seen it combined with other words to form new words which seem to enrich the simple and sometimes barbaric munting society. Here a some extant examples:
Munt-fest
A gathering of munters (though not exclusively, as sometimes non-munters (or munt virgins as the initiated call them) can be converted at these events) including loud music, dancing and (apparently) muntamines(see below). The result is usually red and/or dilated eyes, sweating, incoherant babbling and much merrimunt. In large doses (12 hours or more) can lead to plot loss and even prolonged group hallucinations. Perish the thought. There’s nothing to see here.
Munt-a-rama (n.)
As above, but with a more 70’s, funkadelic, George Clintonesque slant. May include discussions of mushrooms, inter-galactic spore travel and S.E.T.I.. Terms one should employ to fit in with those present should include: Wow, like far out, totally, serious shit, the collective consciousness, Gaia, man, dood, bra, munted, wow and you got the funk.
Munt God – (n.)
The God of all munting. Has many Incarnations including Tumi from Central America as well the God of any other religion incorporating psychoactive substances as an integral part of it’s practical worshipping system. Thus, (predominantly) middle class folk can link these bastardised belief systems to recreational drug use so justifying their own nihilistic (but pleasant) existence in Babylon. Often the basis for ToM backdrops.
Muntamine (n.)
An intoxicant; Common examples include MDMA, LSD, ketamine, amphetamine sulphate, cannabis, strophoria cubensis, psylocybin (various fungi). More rare examples include DMT, 2CB and DOB. Often illegal depending on the Nation in which you reside. Sadly, however, this is no reflection of the varying levels of personal risk involved in ingestion of said muntamines. As such, use of these substances should not be taken lightly but when they are taken heavily they can have extremely potent effects which many munters report to be beneficial to their world view.
The Internet does allow individuals to arm themselves with information though, sadly, many governments aren’t so responsible in both their dissemination of accurate information and their continuing expenditure (or lack thereof) on research into the effects (both long and short term) of these substances. Contact your local policy-maker Today!
Munting Juice (n)
A dirty and noxious solvent; street names include ‘amyl’ and ‘poppers’ and ‘ringpiece relaxer’. As many commentators have reported, side effects include: ‘f**kin’ barry head rushes’, partial loss of motor control and, in extreme cases, total loss of bowel control. The head rushes so beloved of these ‘amyl junkies’ (as they are known) often degenerate into the well-documented ‘bast**d throbber behind the eyes’. Overindulgence can lead to unfortunate pole-axe toppling incidents the results of which are a sorry sight to behold. Much to the delight of evil and single-minded munting juice distributors who haunt the dancefloors of many munting pits. One particularly dangerous individual, a shadowy figure known only as ‘Amyl munter’, now resides in the good ol’ U S of A….You have been warned.
Munting beans (n)
Street names include ‘e’, ‘pills’, ‘ex’, ‘ADAM’ and ecstacy. Little is known about this pharmacopia of drugs, but, like jelly beans, they come in all colours, flavours and sizes. Do not take these if you don’t like drugs.
Muntdruff (n)
The mysterious white deposit that appears on face, hair and clothing, under black light, after the munting has begun. Its origins are unknown but some say it is directly linked to drug abuse. This, like so much else, is unconfirmed.
Muntee (n)
The willing partipant in an unknown munting experience requiring guidance or assistance from a more experienced munter(Much akin to the guide system used by responsible trippers back in the 60s). A mild example is the inhalation (or not) of a marijuana ‘spliff’ ‘blowback’. This is carried out by a munter for the benefit of the recipient, or muntee who will take part in a passive way by inhaling gently as an inordinate quatity of potent smoke enters their lungs at speed. Muntees often become munters themselves though there is no proven causative link.
Munt fluff (n.)
The strange, fibrous build up that often appears in ones belly button after a night of munting. Some reporters have speculated that this substance is the devil’s work, shielding the centre of a person’s soul from the righteous work of the good Lord.
Post-Munt Salve
An unction used to relieve chafing in sweaty nether regions. One of the most serious side effects of a good munt. Good brands include E45.
The sway of this strange word has stretched even to being used as a measurement of time:
A munt(h)
A unit of measurement particular to the individual munter. For example:
If a munter ‘munts’ twice a week for a month and wishes to describe something that happened a month ago he or she might say: “Eight munt(h)s ago we all went to Gallstoneberry, and had a gay old time”
Tribe of Munt – (n.)
A shadowy disorganisation formed with the intent of jumping on the bandwagon of perceived coolness that goes with putting on a school disco for grownups. In recent years they have thrown parties in many of the more ‘exclusive’ venues in London. Not content with throwing ‘munts’ where they break even at the end of the night they now seem focussed on expanding into fluffy toy prostitution, cake-making and marriage counselling having recently sewn up a ‘significant’ corner of the market in ‘avin’ it large’,’stumble and babble’, ‘pseudo-spiritualism’ and bespoke backdrops.
