EXACTLY! i have flashbacks when i’m on pills while taking the pills and tripping, and it almost feels like my childhood and the day before was all made up and nothing matters! love the feeling! but hate it sometimes…. you described exactly how i feel!
there have been (high) moments where i’ve been oddly sure that NONE OF THIS MAKES SENSE, but its a really great ride and im glad you <3 bought me a ticket… im really enjoying the experience, thanks very much, yada yada.
its something that i find hard to communicate, but with some drugs i find get moments of short cognitive reasoning on these existential topics, but maybe ironically, these drugs may not be conducive to a cohesive passage of writing
i find sometimes, mostly on drugs, but occasionally not, i get this kinda instinctive feeling that this is all an illusion in some way and obviously its not to be understood in this life, but there is something, subtle… some energy, its more a feeling than a thought. its not an idea. its not something that can be communicated with words (which makes it hard to communicate it with words). it feels more like something that is understood by the soul, not the brain, but the two maybe can connect at times more a known thing thats not experienced in the conscious. its something maybe from the recesses of the mind rather than a conscious idea… sometimes it feels like energy/connectivity… things that cannot be understood with cognition, but somehow ‘we’ can tune into this feeling if the energy decides… almost as if, ‘if the polarity is right’… and when the polarity is right (and the dosage is right :wink:) sometimes, suddenly there is something odd about ‘reality.’
sometimes comedians touch on it, sometimes films, maybe becos these people are also experiencing these moments and are expressing them in their profession. sometimes i think ‘reality’ is a bit like a decision; whatever it is, it has to be something. and so that decision was made and we have entered into an already made decision and because of that, its hard to deny the existence of the decision because its already there. from the moment u were apparently born, all you’re senses are indicating that the form (‘the everything’) does exist, but yet, in early childhood especially, there seems to be a period of ‘adaptation to the ‘decision” and i feel like childish impulses can be instinctive and powerful, but another human thing we do is copy. we look and we see others acceptance, and then we forget. and i remember vaguely there was questioning. you cannot deny the form, ever, reality dictates, but u can question. but one thing we seem to do is like that of a swarm, we copy answers, and we see each other says ‘ok,’ so we too say ‘ok’ and so we can move on to the next question and then these questions get buried as having been answered, and we build many more answers on top of them, they are our foundations, so maybe it will become a bit wobbly if we mess around too much with those initial questions. but sometimes wen we take drugs, maybe we somehow for a moment, forget some of these decisions/answers we made, or other people made for us and we substituted them into our psyche because we saw those people as more knowledgeable, but maybe that was a misjudgement. maybe sometimes (again on a drug) we can forget one of those deep rooted answers/decision, that will make our whole structure implode if turned on its head. maybe thats the reason we wont try to do this because it will be like turning a mountain upside down, and thats a pretty heavy trip…
another perspective is interest. how interested can a fish be in whats on land? or, lets say we are the fish in an owned fish tank, how long can we entertain ourselves wondering whats in the living room? but maybe we can be guided somewhat by things that dictate existence but yet seem hard to digest… like time and entropy, is this the only way? they are continuous, but our brains dont seem to like anything that is deemed to be infinite, so maybe there is something in that natural dislike. does it seem natural for everything to be tending to disorder constantly, cos thats what ‘the everything’ is telling us… but this doesn’t feel like a natural state… it feels actually like quite a temporary state, even tho time will seemingly go on and on forever if we are to be believers in form… there is no permanence in the physical world and for some reason that feels strange….
im getting tired now but quickly…
connectivity, does it ever feel really odd that we’re one mind?…. only one solitude mind… how can i not hear anyone else’s mind?
oops, time ran out… pls insert 50p
…—>> next!
