Ok, so in the beginning of December I went to Amsterdam and tried some Truffles (mushrooms). I didn’t think it hit me until, suddenly I felt like i was going to die, it was the last day on earth, possibly judgement day and people around me were trying for as long as possible to keep me from ending my life.
So after I stood up and frantically told my cousin we had to leave, took him down an alley and was trying so hard to explain to him how I was feeling without breaking down there and then and crying in the middle of the street, I realised I was just hallucinating and had to calm down, and so I did, we continued our night in the streets of Amsterdam which was also pretty scary as my time conception had all messed up and things/people appeared to be running by me or everyone would circle round me and just look at me. At times I was close to just stopping someone and asking what the fuck was happening… But I resisted.
After reading so many stories about people’s experiences I never understood how bad a bad trip could actually feel… I can now see how you would feel reborn on a good trip.
So in the morning I realised certain words and playing cards would make me trip again and would suck me into this hallucination where my world was ending. It was a struggle at some points to pull myself back and not to believe that what was happening wasn’t actually real and that I couldn’t do anything I wanted to do.
So a month down the line, I met up with my cousin and smoked a few joints, when I realised it happened again. Somehow my hallucinations came back, I was so scared I actually rang my dad to pick me up and rang my mum who I thought was on a quiji bored talking to me as I was dead.
This was just recently and I’m a little freaked out about smoking weed again, that it might further encourage my trip to come up again. At least with my cousin as I know he fucks with me trying to scare me… At least now I know what kind of character he is and not to trust him as he saw and knows exactly what I went through that night. I feel like I want to try and get a good experience out of psychedelics as if I can feel that shit, I can only imagine how amazing it can make me feel. Just a bit worried, maybe I just need to take it more appropriately next time and with someone who I can actually trust, not just think I can.
one question I have though. Why and how has weed given me a flashback or at least enabled me to get one? I’m sure my cousin provoked it but without the weed it wouldn’t have happened.
