Hi guys,
Just wanted to say my story and my experience with coke and how i got to where I am now,
It all started when i moved to down to Brighton over 2 years ago with my then girlfriend, new job new life, new surroundings and totally different atmosphere to London. Things were going great, making new friends in different social circles, even though have dabbled in puff and other class A’s before I didn’t really touch coke that much.
Started on a night out with a work friend and he pulled some out and offered so thought yeah why not, that was the start of rapid descent to hell.
Overtime had been offered to me and my work friend, again he pulled more coke out and said this will help us get through the evening, we ended up staying at work till gone 11, this was repeated quite a few times a week.
Waking up the following morning was like being run over by a train, aches and pains, tiredness, sensitive to day light, wierd thoughts going through my head, as soon as got to work I felt i needed a little pick me up, so called my dealer to drop some gear off, sorted! Now by this point I was thinking “You need to stop this habit of yours” it was more when can get my next hit and without my girlfriend knowing, see, she was as straight as anything, hardly drank, completely against drugs so for me it was more of well i may as well do it while i’m work, she wont know. I went on like this for about 18 months, going out on weekend binges, lying to my girlfriend saying i was drunk and passed out, going to work and needing 2g a day just to get me through, all the while still not recognising my habit.
Now for some reason this year in May I must have woken up to what I was doing, no money working all hours just to feed a habit, relationship in tatters so came clean to everyone around me. No surprise really that my girlfriend left me, who can blame her!
All responsibilities had gone out the window, late payments, always overdrawn, bills being paid late, but I was still going out caning it even harder than what i had been, a gram would last 10mins and was always on the chase and eventually it came to the point where I just didn’t want to go on like this anymore.
I had lost the one person I loved the most, lost the nicest flat I could ever have had, all material things that were saved up and paid for had gone, I was begining to realise my social circle and so called close friends were just on it for the free coke.
Somehow I always managed to have some on a daily basis and not small amounts either.
So the thoughts started to set in, how could I end this all, overdose, jump off the pier, slit wrists, jump in front of a train, I just couldn’t bare it anymore but to me this was an easy way out, I had fucked my own life up so I had claw it all back again and get back into some sort of routine, so just left Brighton and all the shit behind me went back to London and am now slowly getting my life back on track.
Its been 5months now since moving back to London and everyday is a struggle, the cravings were bad to a point where I was going to move back to Brighton but I saw sense, I’ve had a little dabble now and again but atleast now I feel i can control it or I hope so anyway!
After all that I’ve managed to hold down a full time job, still in contact with my ex but the hardest part is the depression, I feel as though I’m not the same person as what I used to be, short attention span, the things that used to make my juices flow mean nothing to me, old hobbies and interests have taken a back burner but am slowly getting back into it all.
Anyway that was my true experience with it, I still miss the buzz and the mad nights out but I certainly dont miss the nasty habit that went with it.
